Welcome to Day 10 of Parenting Pointers
and Mommy Refreshers.
My heart is to bless you this month
as I write 31 days filled with nuggets of parenting wisdom. Each one is followed by a refresher to help
you fix your eyes on Jesus and let your burdens go to Him. Sit with God in this moment. Find a place where you can breathe and hear
from Him.
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Today’s
Parenting Pointer
In the Grip of Grace
How much
thought do you give to grace? Dallas
Willard used to say us Christians burn it up like rocket fuel. We may think of grace when we think of
salvation – saving grace. Certainly it
is by grace we have been saved, through faith.
This gift of God – this lavish, undeserved blessing – this God come
down, stooping low to save us from ourselves only to bring us near to Him – is unthinkable
goodness.
Beyond
salvation, grace is a daily necessity in our lives. Grace is the means by which we offer more
than what is deserved. It isn’t just
mercy (not to belittle mercy) as mercy says, “I won’t give you what you
deserve.” Grace says, “I’ll give you
goodness you don’t deserve – and that in abundance!”
In our
parenting we need to extend grace. You
may be thinking of your children at this moment, but I want to step back before
that and talk to you as a mom. Every
single day we are going to do or say something we wish we hadn’t or not do or
not say something that we wish we had ... like the day I called my oldest son a poo-head. I was so beyond myself that I blurted out an
insult that you would regrettably hear children exchange on the
playground. I said it. I couldn’t take it back. We both just stared at one another in
shock. Then he started. He started giggling and giggling and I joined
in and grace pervaded our souls. Today
he’ll say with a glint in his eye, “Remember Mom, you called me a poo-head
once.” It’s his way of reminding me of
my clay feet. But it also reminds us I
mess up and I was forgiven – by God and by my son.
Grace.
Grace.
And beyond
those two important sources of forgiveness I wrestled a bit, despite the ease
with which my son let go of my faux pas.
I couldn’t forgive myself. I
wanted to be this epic, amazing {read “perfect”} mom. I mean, that’s how I was going to ensure that
my kids turned out to be epic and amazing {again, read “perfect”}, right? Instead of becoming perfect (as if that were
an option) I’ve learned this other road – the road paved by grace that leads to
grace. John said it in his gospel, “for
of His fullness we have all received, and grace upon grace.” Grace upon grace.
It seems
just way too lavish. Charles Swindoll (in
his book Grace Awakening) said if
grace doesn’t seem risky enough to tempt some to take advantage of it, we aren’t
quite preaching the gospel of grace. It
is just. that. radical.
You may have
a list of things you wish you hadn’t said or done as a mom – those regrets that
nag at you as you feel sure you have ruined your kids for life. You may wish you had done things or said
things you haven’t. Grace is the gift
extended to you, at a great price, but without cost to you. Jesus died to extend you grace and it is free
– It will never be earned by you. You
can’t “pay Him back.” Knowing the cost
of grace helps us never cheapen it by take advantage of the gift of the
Cross.
On the other hand, it is freely
given in love – for you specifically in these moments when you know you’ve
blown it. Because where sin abounds
grace abounds ALL THE MORE. You just can’t outgive God. He went to great lengths to give you freedom
from guilt and shame. Extend yourself the
grace He freely bestows on you.
And then, in
turn, look at those children of yours.
They sure need grace. Like you,
they sin. Like you they can’t escape
their own failings. You have the
privilege of being the conduit of grace in their lives. I’m not saying we lay down and say, “Oh, It’s
okay!” whenever they mess up or misbehave.
That’s not grace, that’s license.
What I am saying is that you teach them that we all sin and fall short
of God’s standards, but He is so lavish in love that He came to pay the price
for you and for them. We need Him every
hour, as the old hymn says. Point them
to Jesus as you give them instruction and help them learn how to respond to the
lavish grace poured out to them by Jesus – and through you. Receive grace. Extend grace.
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Be
Refreshed
He Makes Me Lie Down
I’m aType-A,
driven sort of person. I know how to sit
still, I promise, but honestly even when I’m sitting, it has taken me years to
learn how to settle. As I mentioned
yesterday I had been going through the study A Shepherd Looks at Psalm 23 and when we got to the second verse I
was in awe. You know how sometimes it
feels like God rewrote the Bible since the last time you read a given
passage? This verse hit me right where I
live:
He makes
me lie down in green pastures
He leads
me beside the still waters
My friend and I were talking through
what we gained from our study and she brought up this thought, “God has to make
me lie down.” I didn’t know much about
sheep before studying this Psalm more in depth.
I knew they were “dumb” (since you hear that in sermons all the time)
and that they come to their shepherd’s voice (again, sermons). I had even witnessed sheep coming to their
shepherd before when I visited my mom in Montana. We were all perched on this fence calling the
sheep, baa-ing and making fools of ourselves and then my mom’s friend, the
shepherdess walks in and says one word and the entire flock turned as if on cue
and trotted toward her.
I also had
experienced the distress of a ewe when her young lamb was away from her. We live in an area where sheep herding is
still alive and well on the outskirts of our town. When my son was young we went with some
friends to see the new lambs. This one
mama sheep got separated from her lamb who had come near to us and was allowing
us to hold him. She just stood still not
knowing what to do with herself, bleating uncontrollably. She was obviously unable to take charge of
her own life and her children. Her worry
and distress overwhelmed her. Sound
familiar?
What struck me most of all in this
passage and the description in the book we were reading was just that. The sheep need the Shepherd to take away
their anxiety so that they can lie down in green pastures. The Shepherd has to make them lie down. Otherwise they will be too wound up to
rest.
Do you feel that way? Do you feel so wound up and anxious that you can’t lie down in the provision God has for you? He says He will lead you beside the still waters. Sheep will drink from all kinds of water if they aren’t led. We are the same. We will take in things which aren’t good for us and spend our time on things which are not satisfying. We need our Shepherd to help us know where to get our refreshment.
Just today spend some time giving God
your anxiety, your restlessness, your fear, your perfectionism, your worries
over your children and all the other things which keep you from lying down in
His provision. Confess to Him that you
need Him to make you lie down. Then
allow Him to lead you – to lead you to places of refreshment as He promises to
do.
I pray you found a breath of fresh air here and a moment to reflect and
recharge your battery. If you have
missed any of this series, all the posts can be found here. Come back any or every day this month to get
another Parenting Pointer and Mommy Refresher.
And, as always, I do love hearing from you. Let me know how I can pray for you or if
something I wrote here touched you.
photo of our family (edited by me) originally taken by the oh-so-talented Patrick Ang; photo of sheep courtesy of Wikipedia and Freefoto.com; photo of cross courtesy of Bing Images and edited by me
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