tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33452174078434971242024-03-13T23:42:22.068-07:00 Hearts HomewardA place of healing ... encouragement .. truth. Pattyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14854370464356325974noreply@blogger.comBlogger201125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3345217407843497124.post-13401163948855441992016-01-18T01:17:00.000-08:002016-01-18T01:17:34.813-08:00A Big Move - and a Giveaway!<span data-mce-style="color: #000000;" style="color: black;"> I
started blogging two and a half years ago in response to a one-word
writing prompt put out by a blogger I followed at the time. I have
always loved writing. Blogging became a fun way to write and connect
with others while allowing me a way to bless people in the areas of
parenting, spiritual growth and home education. Beyond that, I learned
new skills and met some really amazing fellow bloggers. This past year,
I stopped blogging in April. Just. Like. That. My family went through
an unforeseen crisis and I needed to withdraw from social media almost
completely to be fully present in real life. We're out of that woods
now. </span><br />
<br />
<span data-mce-style="color: #000000;" style="color: black;">The
start of a new year seemed like a good time to reenter blogging. Since
I've been out of sight for a while, I figured it was a great time to
relocate and revamp the blog - something I've wanted to do for some
time. </span><br />
<br />
<span data-mce-style="color: #000000;" style="color: black;">Fresh start. Fresh look. New location. Refined Vision.</span><br />
<span data-mce-style="color: #000000;" style="color: black;"><br /> I'm excited for Hearts Homeward this coming year!</span><br />
<br />
<span data-mce-style="color: #000000;" style="color: black;">To read the rest of this post and find me at my new home on the web, come on over to <a href="http://heartshomeward.com/">http://heartshomeward.com</a>. I'm giving away gifts as a part of my blogwarming today, Wednesday and Friday. I've written a welcome post to help you find your way around the site and get familiar so you can access spiritual encouragement, parenting help and other goodies like my "Book List for Boys" as well as Home Education ideas and inspiration ... come on over, you are always welcome. </span>Pattyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14854370464356325974noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3345217407843497124.post-67303497583130636932016-01-05T11:03:00.002-08:002016-01-05T12:42:38.123-08:00Blind Faith in the Midst of Dark Times<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<br />
She told me she wished she could end it all.<br />
<br />
My friend on the other end of the line shared the ache of a recent grief that hit her like a Mac truck coming around a bend at 80 miles an hour. I sat listening to her, aware of the depth of pain and the reality of loss. Years ago when I was younger and more inaccurately sure of myself I would have tried to talk her out of her despair. Quoting something pithy I would have tried to assure her that all was well, all would be surely well. In those days I wasn't as comfortable or familiar with grief and unfinished business - difficult circumstances which beg for answers that just don't come. God, in His mercy, has brought me further along and I know now that what someone needs most when they have lost hope is a listening ear from one who cares. My friend just needed to be heard and understood. She needed me to listen and say, "Yes, this stinks." She needed <i>me</i>, not my quick fix or my memorized scripture verse or any other pat answer that attempts to quell pain and stifle emotion.<br />
<br />
Just to let you know, she's been that person for me too. When I careened into a bit of a depression, longing to feel God's presence and intimate care, yet feeling nothing at all, she was the one who said to me, "I know you have doubts in this season and you can't feel God though you want to. Just know that I've been there and I know how you feel." That word of hope became a tether for me at a time when I still thought my ability to consistently feel of God's presence indicated His actual care and intimate involvement (or lack of both).<br />
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After we sat for a while with her sharing her heart, fears, concerns, challenges, we started talking about struggles and suffering. I'm not going to lay out a comprehensive theology on suffering here, but I was struck by the realization that for the most part, in our current church culture we don't have a place to grieve or a way to honor the process of hurting as a result of loss. If you've got doubts; if your prayers feel like they are hitting the ceiling; if you are struggling with a grief or an old hurt, the very last place you are likely to take it is to church. I wonder when the last time was that you heard a sermon on the common experience of doubt or feeling distant from God. <br />
<br />
In the Old Testament the Jews would literally cry out to God about what was burdening them. They used to put on sack cloth and pour ashes over their heads and rip their clothing. Whole villages or tribes would do this when there was loss or a need to repent of a sin. Up until 1950 or so, in America, we wore black for even up to a year to show we were grieving. Not now. Now we put on our makeup and wear a smile and keep the pain private. How about you? Do you let people know you are hurting? Do you bring your deepest cares to God and cast them on Him because He cares for you? <span style="color: #660000;"><b><i id="yui_3_16_0_1_1451978600008_5658">When dark times hit, do you turn towards God or do you turn from Him?</i></b></span><br />
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In the early years of Christianity and well into the 1500s when St. Ignatius was writing, the concept of a rhythm of relationship with God was well known. It was expected that there would be times of consolation - when God feels near and we are filled with the comfort and joy of sensing His presence and love for us. It was equally expected that anyone who walked with Jesus would experience times of desolation - when God seems to have taken a leave of absence, prayer feels dry, we lack a sense of hope and struggle to do the basic spiritual activities which were previously life-giving. <span style="color: #660000;"><b><i id="yui_3_16_0_1_1451978600008_5725">Like waves of the ocean hitting the shore and then flowing back out to sea, our personal sensation of God's presence will ebb and flow throughout our time on earth. </i></b></span><br />
<br />
While there can be self-imposed reasons for seasons of desolation (when we are harboring a sin or when we have put other people or attachments ahead of God), these feelings are not always the result of our own wrongdoing. Jesus Himself entered the desert. We are told the Spirit of God led Him there to be tempted. Sometimes we also forget that God prunes even the fruitful branches. We can be going along in ministry and life, seeing great results in our intimacy with God and in the people we are reaching out to in His name. All of a sudden we feel stripped back and exposed. Something happens externally or internally and it feels as though the rug was ripped out from under us. <span style="color: #660000;"><i><b>Pruning comes unexpectedly, even though He told us it would be "even the fruitful branches."</b></i></span> Why? He tells us that too: that you might bear even more fruit. Fruit isn't just in people reached. Fruit, first and foremost grows in you.<br />
<br />
It has been my experience that <span style="color: #660000;"><i><b>certain benefits only come through my suffering</b></i></span>. I'm not a masochist. Believe me, I like to seek comfort as much as the next guy. As I think back over friendships where I was betrayed, precious family and friends who have died, sins which I have committed or which have been committed against me and the seasons of pain which have followed these experiences, I see a pattern as to what God does with my suffering. <br />
<br />
First of all, God has always shown me my need for Him when I have hit a rough patch. It isn't on a sunny day that I think about where my umbrella is hidden in the hall closet. Let the clouds grow grey and I start digging it out and carrying it with me whenever I leave the house. Sometimes, my need for God is like that. I reach for Him with both hands when I've hit the end of myself in tough times. Hardship makes me know my weakness and my deep need for Him. In distress I am stripped down and I draw near to God in new ways. He makes use of challenging times to increase my awareness of what is essential and to help me seek Him more fully. <b><span style="color: #660000;"><i id="yui_3_16_0_1_1451978600008_5869">His strength is made perfect in my weakness. I was reminded just this year that I find my strength in the shadow of His wings. It is only when I run to Him for protection and care that I am strong. </i></span></b><br />
<br />
God also uses difficulties to draw up dross in my heart. He shows me false beliefs, idols of my heart and areas I need growth. Though I search myself with Him regularly, nothing gets my attention and turns my eyes towards self-examination like a season of pain. God doesn't bring these faults to my attention to make me feel low or to kick me when I'm down. On the contrary, He is always seeking my freedom and growth. When I see myself as He sees me, I am more willing to change. Sometimes it takes a supremely agonizing experience to convince me to shift gears and give up something I was clinging to. Like a woman in labor, the pain I endure as I grow through grief gives birth to new levels of maturity and joy. <span style="color: #660000;"><b><i id="yui_3_16_0_1_1451978600008_5927">I sure long for a spiritual epidural, but in the end I'm always grateful for having endured the trial when I witness the outcome on the other side. </i></b></span><br />
<br />
Another thing God has done through suffering is to give me a greater capacity for compassion. In a letter to the Corinthians Paul refers to God as "The God of all comfort." He comforts us in our affliction ... so that we can comfort others in the same way. God will provide comfort in due time. He often does not provide it when we wish He would because He wants us to want Him more than we want His comfort. You know those "friends" who come over when you have something to offer them, but seem scarce when you have a need? We call them fair-weather friends. God won't abide with fair-weather followers. <span style="color: #660000;"><i><b>He knows we need more than to be allowed to access Him only for His blessings.</b></i></span> A real relationship of any kind involves hanging in through hard times because we are committed to one another. God hangs in with us (even when all visible evidence seems to feel otherwise) and we need to hang in with Him.<br />
<br />
Real faith hangs on. Jesus said, "What good is it if you love only the lovable? Even the pagans do that." The same goes for faith. What good is a faith that believes only when things are rosy, when we can feel His presence and all situations are going the way we say they ought to go? True faith - blind faith - believes through the darkness. Faith is the assurance of things hoped for and the conviction of things not seen. When we hold onto God though our senses tell us He is not interested in us anymore and when circumstances have us on our ear, we are exercising true faith. You may feel like your faith has failed you during a dry spell, but <span style="color: #660000;"><b><i>the very fact that you are still seeking God, longing for Him and missing a deeper connection bears witness to the depth of your real heart-felt faith.</i></b></span><br />
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So, what's a person to do when they are knee-deep in desolation. Let me tell you, I've had long seasons of desolation throughout the years I have walked with Jesus. I have some first-hand experience as to what is wise and unwise and what helps the journey go a bit more smoothly:<br />
<br />
<span style="color: #660000;"><i><span style="font-size: large;">Reach Out and Reach Up</span></i></span><br />
Don't keep your feelings of doubt, fear and pain buried. Choose a trusted friend who can bear your burden with you. Talk with someone who knows how to listen without trying to change you. If you are willing, the sooner the better, talk to God about your emotions and all you are thinking. Write a psalm to Him. The psalms are such a gift to us. They reveal that God wants us to share the good, bad and ugly with Him. By including them in scripture, God gave us a model and permission to pour out all manner of thoughts and emotions to Him. We do well when we walk through our fear and doubt with Him instead of trying to resolve it apart from Him. On that same note, don't share what you are going through with people who you know can't handle it. This is a perfect time to exercise the principle of not throwing your pearls before swine. <i id="yui_3_16_0_1_1451978600008_6054"><br /></i><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: #660000;"><i>Don't Change Anything Major</i></span></span><br />
Desolation can make us feel desperate. We want to move, quit our job, get out of Dodge. It's normal to want to flee everything and make big changes when everything around us seems to be imploding or when circumstances show no sign of changing and we feel stuck and blah as a result. If you are going to make a change, run your ideas by some wise counselors. Otherwise, sit tight. Let some time pass. Don't shift from good decisions you made in a season of consolation under the influence of your pain in desolation.<br />
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<span style="color: #660000;"><span style="font-size: large;"><i>Remember the Good Ol' Days</i></span></span><br />
We all have had great moments of intimacy with God. During times of desolation these can seem hazy at best. In the Old Testament God told the Israelites to set up alters, build Ebenezer stones (places of remembrance) and to tell stories and sing songs about the good things God had done. If you are in a time of desolation, it helps to go back and remember the goodness of God in your life. Recount blessings and
remember His good works towards you. When you are in
seasons of consolation, write in a journal or find another way to record His
goodness. Leave yourself a trail of breadcrumbs so that the next time you are in desolation you can remind yourself that God is near, He loves you with the greatest love imaginable and He will see you through. <br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: #660000;"><i>Get Out of Yourself</i></span></span><br />
It may seem like the most unlikely time to serve someone else when you feel broken, doubtful or angry with God, but if you can be honest with yourself and God about where you are, you still can be of use to others. Desolation makes us turn our eyes inward. We can quickly become self-focused (like when you have a raging headache and nothing else matters or can grab your attention). The pain of desolation causes us to fixate on our own feelings and thoughts. Serving someone else lifts our eyes over and above our own pain, at least for a bit. It is very hard to out-bless God. Often when we reach out to others in a time of our own pain we feel the nearness of God as we do.
Don't go into serving others with that ulterior motive. Simply know
that you can get your eyes off you and contribute even when your brain is telling you that you have nothing to offer. <br />
<br />
If you are in a period of desolation, I would sincerely love to pray for you. I've been there and I feel it with you. Feel free to comment here or connect with me on the <a href="https://www.facebook.com/heartshomeward/?fref=ts">Hearts Homeward Facebook Page</a>. If you aren't in desolation, know that many around you may be. Offer a listening ear and a heart that cares and entrust them to God - who never leaves nor forsakes us and has no condemnation for us who are in Him.<br />
<br />
<span style="color: #274e13;"><i>I want to thank my friend for her permission to use a part of her story anonymously so that we could bless others who are hurting. </i></span> Pattyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14854370464356325974noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3345217407843497124.post-2478441638333894902015-12-28T16:18:00.002-08:002015-12-28T21:31:01.884-08:00The End of the Year Purge Do you all get like me at the end of the year?<br />
<br />
I just LOVE LOVE LOVE
to <span style="color: #660000;"><span style="font-size: large;"><i><b>purge </b></i></span></span>as we prepare for the new year.<br />
I purge at the end of summer
and usually each member of our family purges one item each day in
November, but I somehow missed that boat this year, so I'm on
double-duty to purge now.<br />
<br />
I grew up in a home where all things were reused or kept for the potential that someday, somehow we would make use of them. You know the can of old screws you may just need ... that mismatched sock that somehow has a partner that may show up ... the sentimental scraps of artwork from every craft day in elementary school, tattered and faded, but precious enough to avoid the ever-looming trash can?<br />
<br />
My mother remarried a genius of a man who has a penchant for reading five to twenty items at a time ... all over the home. You literally struggle to find an open seat for want of misplacing the magazine, newspaper or book taking a respite in the very spot meant for your tush. Ah well, genius has its price. He is a keeper, so we all endure the scattering of literature and scientific journals.<br />
<br />
All that said, you can easily see why <span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: #660000;"><b><i>I am at odds with clutter</i></b></span></span>. I have the seeds of sentimentality sown deeply into my psyche. Every little thing has a meaning and threatens potential loss if thrown out. Still, after years of living with my husband and all the inevitable accumulation of what-nots, junk and miscellany, I got the itch to ditch. Add to that equation my two boys (now 7 and 14 years old) and we have a veritable hoardfest if I don't get serious, lay down the law and bring out the empty Trader Joe's bags several times a year. This, my friends, is one of those times. All through Advent I am caught up in the spiritual significance of the season, but once the blessed day of Christmas has come and gone (forgive me all ye lovers of the 12 days ...) I'm ready to pull up the C-Train, and start tossing!<br />
<br />
You might ask why I'm in such a fevered-pitch to get rid of stuff and whip out the label maker and see through tupperware shoe boxes so I can organize to my heart's content. It's quite simple.<br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: #660000;"><b>I want to own my stuff. I don't want my stuff to own me.</b></span></span> <br />
<br />
Every year I have found that the mittens in that stuffed away rubbermaid in the garage and the candlesticks up on top of the laundry shelves and the old playdough, gone hard in its container due to lack of use - well, they don't only take up room in my home - they rent space in my brain. Every time I toss, give or sell something, I am lighter. It's as good as shedding a few pounds - and at my age, it's far easier. <br />
<br />
I have improved over the years in this habit of purging. We do two "end of season" purges (as mentioned above). One before starting back to school and one after Christmas. The other big purge has to do with making Thanksgiving truly thankful. We each purge one item a day in the month of November and that allows us to keep what we love: <span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: #660000;"><i><b>whatever is beautiful, meaningful or purposeful.</b></i></span></span> It's ironic how letting go of what was unnecessary or no longer useful lends itself to making you appreciate what you keep all the more. <br />
<br />
Here's what's also a bit funny to me ... How is it after purging as a habit and
routine for years now, I still end up with things that have been around
and survived purge after purge? I think it has to do with my ability to let go. Each year I outgrow this strange and false belief that my things are vital. I realize that I hold the truly important memories and sentiments in my heart, and no bucket, box or attic full of mementos will recapture the significance of those moments. I'm allowing time to go by more freely and I am cherishing the now more than the "what was." I'm making room for the future - holding my hand open. <span style="font-size: large;"><i><b><span style="color: #660000;">Clearing out physical space is a spiritual exercise too</span></b></i></span>. Don't get me wrong, I kept some very precious things from my boys' childhoods, and God help the person who tries to throw out my oldest son's stuffed dog or my second born's first lost tooth. Still, each year I get a bit better about saying "farewell" to some things that seemed impossible to release just six months back. <br />
<br />
<br />
For those of you in need of a little purging inspiration, I wrote a little "Dr Suess-ish" story
to inspire you ...<br />
<br />
<i>I'm on a roll and it
won't stop there, </i><br />
<i>I'll purge the cupboards til they're nearly bare ... </i><br />
<i> I'll toss things we can't or don't use at all ... </i><br />
<i>I'll search through
the attic, under beds, down the hall. </i><br />
<br />
<i>This purging gives life, makes
room and brings peace ... </i><br />
<i>When I finish here, I'll go to the house of my
neice! </i><br />
<i>Once you get started you'll see what I mean. </i><br />
<i>There's nothing
like the feeling of getting things clean. </i><br />
<br />
<i>Don't hang onto old junk
thinking someday you'll use it ... </i><br />
<i>Get rid of that frame, the old pot
and your whatsee-doosit. </i><br />
<i>You may feel a pang as you drop things in
boxes. </i><br />
<i>After all, those were great grandpa George's old sockses. </i><br />
<i> Ignore that feeling and do what you must. </i><br />
<i> Get rid of the excess.
Salvation Army or bust!</i><br />
<br />
I'd love to hear your purging stories ... or your hanging on stories ... or whatever you feel like sharing. You can comment here (I hope, I hope, if the link works!) or on the <a href="https://www.facebook.com/heartshomeward/">Hearts Homeward Facebook Page</a>. Pattyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14854370464356325974noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3345217407843497124.post-64863519621935327982015-04-30T17:38:00.000-07:002015-05-03T10:27:08.042-07:00The Family Meeting - Creating Unity and Avoiding Power StrugglesThe <a href="http://heartshomeward.blogspot.com/2015/04/confessions-of-recovering-control-freak.html">past two posts</a> I wrote about my slow and powerful recovery from being a serious control freak. My need to govern may have been stealth and unobservable by most bystanders, but my family can attest, it was mom's way or the highway when push came to shove. (If you only knew what fortitude it takes to even type that here, you would fall down and worship God for His awesome and intimate touch and His relentless pursuit of transformation in each of our hearts).<br />
<br />
I have come a long way, yet feel like I'm just starting to really get a grip on what it means to <span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: #660000;"><b>decide what I will do</b></span></span> (know my boundaries and stick with them), <span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: #660000;"><b>let them decide what they will do</b></span></span> (release and empower) <span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: #660000;"><b>and pray like crazy over the difference</b></span></span> (trust God and step out of His place and His movement in their lives). Not to digress too far, but I am finding that I learn lessons in layers. It seems I started learning about healthy boundaries about 28 years ago and as I look back over the terrain of my life, I see how there have been milestones where I let the lesson sink in further and become more integrated. I guess that is sanctification in a nutshell. Bit by bit He makes us more and more like Him. <br />
<br />
I am excited to impart a few tools over the next few posts which have been of such great support to me as I am growing in this new level of release.<br />
At the end of <a href="http://heartshomeward.blogspot.com/2015/04/what-is-left-when-we-relinquish.html">my last post</a> I mentioned<span style="font-size: large;"><b><span style="color: #660000;"> the "Family Meeting"</span></b></span> which is something I really want to share with you. This gift came my way via a sweet friend who is constantly doing diligent research and reading so she can improve the way they do "family." I just love gleaning from her. I'm going to jump right in here and tell you what we're doing and how it has blessed us:<br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: #660000;"><b>Once a week, on Sunday evening, we hold a "Family Meeting." The gist of this meeting is three-fold. </b></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: #660000;"><b>1. Spiritual</b></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: #660000;"><b>2. Planning and Informing</b></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: #660000;"><b>3. Problem Solving</b></span></span><br />
<br />
We start our meeting in prayer followed by our weekly devotion. Each member of the family takes a turn leading the devotion, so one week I present it, the next my husband guides us, the next, my 13-year-old son shares and finally my 6-year-old has his turn and then we go back through the rotation. <span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: #660000;"><b>Since I am raising boys, I want them to ultimately lead their families spiritually, so giving them an opportunity in this devotional leadership is preparing them for that future role in their families</b></span></span>. We don't tell them what to do with their week as to how to lead us. We encourage them to be thinking about their devotion all week and bring something from their personal walk with the Lord to share with the rest of us. For my youngest, it may be a repeat of his Sunday School lesson or of some reading we did together in his Jesus Storybook Bible. My older son may bring us a piece of wisdom from his quiet time. My husband read through Proverbs Chapter 3 last week and then shared about what it means to him to trust in the Lord. <br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: #660000;"><b>Following the prayer and devotion, we go into our Planning portion of the meeting</b></span></span>. At this point in the meeting we might talk about things we want to plan to do together (such as going to Disneyland in the fall, or where we want to serve in our community, or what day we are all doing yardwork this coming week). Then we lay out our coming week's calendar so everyone is aware of what is coming up for all members of the family in the next week. Also, during this time of the meeting, my husband and I will make our "announcements." Announcements are things we have decided as parents (that are not up for negotiation, but need to be known by the whole family).<br />
<br />
Announcements also can include things like when I said, "I have noticed you boys are coming late to our morning lessons. I will not wait for you. I will keep my day rolling. I am available for that time to teach you, but if you miss out on my availability, I am going on with my day and you will have to do your lesson alone and turn in proof of your learning to me before you will be allowed to play later in the day." <span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: #660000;"><b>Just that kind of FYI is the "deciding what I will do" part of life that lets me free them up to make tons of mistakes as they learn from their own choices - without me yelling, getting frustrated and resentful or throwing in the towel.</b></span></span> <br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><b><span style="color: #660000;">After the Planning time of our meeting we go into the Problem Solving time</span></b></span>. We each get to bring up concerns or requests. We don't talk about "Mom, I need new tennis shoes," here because that is not a family issue. We discuss things like the way we are treating one another, rules that have not been followed, guidelines for bedtime or screen use or other hot topics. We may resolve ongoing conflicts such as when brothers are in each others' space too much or how late we tarry after church (as some of us want to get in the car and go and the more extroverted of the bunch want to stay and chat until the custodian locks us out of the building). Each family member can bring an agenda item (or more than one, though we go around to each person in a rotation, so there may not be time for more than one concern per person). <br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: #660000;"><b>We have some "Guidelines" for the meeting which I'll just put out to you here</b></span></span>: <br />
<span style="color: #660000;"><b><i><span style="font-size: large;">1. One person talks at a time (we pass a little nerf ball and whomever is holding the ball is the speaker - this immediately and simply eliminates any spirit of argument and interruption). </span></i></b></span><br />
<span style="color: #660000;"><b><i><span style="font-size: large;">2. Everyone listens while someone else is talking just as they would want others to listen to them.</span></i></b></span><br />
<span style="color: #660000;"><b><i><span style="font-size: large;">3. If you are bringing up a concern, you must bring a suggested solution (or two) with it.</span></i></b></span><br />
<span style="color: #660000;"><b><i><span style="font-size: large;">4. If you disagree with anything someone else has said, you must present an alternative solution.</span></i></b></span><br />
<span style="color: #660000;"><b><i><span style="font-size: large;">5. No solution is put in place until there is a unanimous consensus.</span></i></b></span><br />
<span style="color: #660000;"><b><i><span style="font-size: large;">6. If we cannot resolve a concern, it is tabled until the following week. </span></i></b></span><br />
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When someone brings up their concern or request, they also share their suggested solution. Then we all talk things out, taking turns by throwing the talking ball to one another. Finally, the ball lands in my husband's hands and he sort of wraps it up. We keep notes on what was decided and everyone signs the notes so it is "official." <span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: #660000;"><b>The beauty of this process is that we are all focused on solving a problem rather than arguing or complaining. </b></span></span>We share our concerns or questions and then we are forced to listen instead of getting stuck in defending our position. Family members who tend to dominate have to step back and those who are reserved have to take a turn giving input. The playing field is leveled. We all participate together. No question or concern is too ridiculous (we're dealing with a dreamer six-year-old here, so we do get a few doosies in the mix sometimes) or too heavy. <br />
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We wrap up our meeting in prayer and then <span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: #660000;"><b>we spend an hour doing something fun together</b></span></span> like going on a bike ride or out to ice cream, playing a board game, backyard soccer or hide-and-go-seek (we're dorks, I know!). We decided having a fun, unifying activity after the meeting makes the evening something we all can look forward to, so no matter whether we resolved our concerns or not, we all end the night on an up note. <br />
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By having an early supper, then the meeting, followed by a family fun activity, we are strengthening our bonds with one another. We are teaching our boys valuable problem solving skills and modeling how families worship God while connecting with one another. The fruit of this process has been rich and sweet. Our boys feel they are giving input that matters. They buy into the solutions because they helped decide what would happen. They are learning to negotiate with one another instead of the occasional getting frustrated and yelling or slamming doors. <span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: #660000;"><b>Our family looks forward to Sunday evening as a time of connection</b></span></span>. When we are frustrated about something through the week, we don't get anxious or overwhelmed. We can table it as an agenda item for the family meeting and trust that together we will find an answer to that concern without arguing or getting into power struggles. We are on the same team. God says in Ephesians for us to be diligent to preserve the spirit of unity in the bond of peace. The family meeting does that in spades.<br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: #274e13;"><b>If you haven't put a family meeting in place, I strongly encourage you to give this a try. If you have other great tools for solving problems as a family or for coming together on a regular basis, please share! We're all here to learn, grow and encourage one another. I love hearing from you either here or on the <a href="https://www.facebook.com/heartshomeward?fref=ts">Hearts Homeward Facebook Page</a>. ... </b></span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: #274e13;"><b>Next week I am so very excited to be writing about <i>Bible Journaling</i> and how it has transformed my intimacy with God over the past month. </b></span></span><br />
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Gratefully Linking Up with:<br />
<img alt="http://www.faithbarista.com/" border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj046oGNpRojn_iIgPUwzZFsrxTt2W5ezsuctUxP4y_eYT1LTPcEYydYYtxXb_dE7Cs8SchsBp9quKhYAX-i55zY8N4G13vRJu_OSGGRNUqxf2YEY0At1-emyxyxx-KGjgb-4Ude9ortH0/s1600/beloved_brews_faithbarista_badge.png" /> <a href="http://arabahjoy.com/may-day-with-link-up/"><img alt="http://arabahjoy.com/getting-it-all-done-and-link-up/" border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh4xJIkmkg4RSMcjHpllek5FJAUUZUUXpWBM8i2iKO8ZOn8wbJh3cPGzIhY5D3Yre47Uz4IANE_-mFpRML5J9CKnJbPlLqzx4xwmy6bCZjIrAIs4GAm2bz12BU3Wqsr9jy7JDAP1rKE2CI/s1600/GraceTruth-300x300.png" height="200" width="200" /></a> <a href="http://myfreshlybrewedlife.com/2015/05/heart-murmurs-the-weekend-brew-2.html"><img alt="theweekendbrewbutton" border="0" class="alignleft size-full wp-image-29565" data-jpibfi-indexer="2" src="http://myfreshlybrewedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/11/theweekendbrewbutton1.png" height="180" width="180" /></a><br />
<a href="http://christianmommyblogger.com/ff69_inclusion/"><img alt="http://christianmommyblogger.com/ff67_sunflower/" border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEje3EBFjZmtSFmYPtKwWKof9GZHoQU69MuN38v2KHy2jfaGZQHsMP01kcaBCZ8kBQFJLHGUaVoh_AKHoqMOSuykxKIT-7Y19QJChxYEqWRT7_uQlCfjY0ejKdFbAdB0BTtEdQR-ySGhqdg/s1600/Fellowship+Fridays.png" height="78" width="200" /></a>Pattyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14854370464356325974noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3345217407843497124.post-22534872894388526752015-04-17T18:22:00.000-07:002015-04-17T21:45:50.742-07:00What Is Left When We Relinquish Everything?A few years ago I started praying over my friendships. It wasn't the first season of prayer in this area. I had shared with my dear friend and prayer partner how<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: #990000;"><b> I had a longing for more connection and sweetness with women in my life. </b></span></span>She said, "Let's pray over this." God was so faithful to strengthen existing friendships and bring new women into my life - women who really love me - women whom I pray for, give to, share with, listen to and cherish - women who show up on my doorstep with flowers or a Starbucks for no reason whatsoever. I'm beyond blessed. <br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: #990000;"><b>I've always had this habit of taking a weekend away at least once a year for my own personal retreat.</b></span></span> I pack up my paints, my camera, my Bible, my journal and my tennies and go somewhere lovely alone for two whole days. This year a few of those friends whom I had prayed for decided we would do this get-away together. At the last minute, one of us got ill and couldn't make it, so it was just me and my sweet friend, Christine. We headed to San Simeon and got a room at a little inn there. If you have never done this, or it's been long enough that you don't remember the sweetness of the last retreat you took, I encourage you to put one on the calendar asap. It doesn't have to cost a lot. You can go somewhere local for a day if an overnight won't work. Swap childcare with a friend if your husband can't provide a day of caring for your children. Just provide time to separate from life, regroup, gain perspective and rest. <br />
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You know (or at least I pray you do) how it is when girls of any age have a sleep-over. We stay up, chat our hearts out as we solve the problems of the world together - at least our little worlds. <span style="font-size: large;"><b><span style="color: #990000;">Lately God has been inviting me to grow out of the habit of attempting to control others</span></b></span>. {You can read about that <a href="http://heartshomeward.blogspot.com/2015/04/confessions-of-recovering-control-freak.html">here</a>.} Girls, this hasn't been a perfect and pretty journey. I've cried tears of grief as I feel myself releasing my oldest son. I've felt confused as I wonder what takes the place of directing him and setting firm limits with consequences. I've sensed the freedom God is providing for both him and me in the process, but with each additional relinquishing, I feel more residue of the fear that has been the trigger to years of a control-based thread that ran through my parenting.<br />
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Now I'm finding, this thread runs through my marriage too. Yeah, baby. Not my proudest moment, but you need to hear it, especially if you may have these leanings too. You know how God gave curses to Adam and Eve and the snake in the garden after they all sinned? The curse given to Eve was that she would desire to rule over her husband, but he would rule over her. Without getting into a theological debate here, I want to say, "thanks, Eve." I sure experience the fallout of that curse. I would have been capable of bringing that on my own head without her help, I'm sure. Either way,<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: #990000;"><b> I find that I want to prescribe what my husband will and won't do - especially when it comes to how we parent our sons</b></span></span>. <br />
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Why do I feel this drive to control others? I'm discovering in more personal ways that the root of control lies in fear. <span style="font-size: large;"><b><span style="color: #990000;">When we fear, we grasp at straws - and we shove God out of the picture (either quietly or boldly) as we take over "knowing how things should be" and often sharing our expectations with others around us.</span></b></span> You know, how we "share"? ... "Hun, don't do that!" "Babe, you didn't let them stay up that late and eat <i>THAT </i>did you?" "Don't say that around the kids, they'll start to copy you," and on it goes. We prescribe the way others should behave because we are sure if things don't go as we expect all hell will break loose - literally. In our attempt to keep things solid, we actually create a mess. It may not show on the surface for years, but believe me, a habit of control only leads to two reactions from others - they either comply (agree on the outside, but never engage their hearts in the agreement) or they rebel (either boldly or passively). Who wants that? <br />
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So I got to the place where I had to let go. I just had to. <span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: #990000;"><b>Piling on rules and more rules and consequences that would happen if those rules weren't followed is not going to keep my son from the perils of adolescence.</b></span></span> The good news is that God moves in concert with our willingness. As I have opened to release, He has met me and blessed me with greater peace, freedom and grace. A deeper calmness fills our home. My boys show love more freely. Laughter pervades our days (instead of tension or the occasional stressed session of raised voices and hurt feelings). We have a sweet family. Even so, this pattern of control has been a part of our life and God saw I was ready (and even willing) to learn to live without it. <br />
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I found myself asking God what would fill the emptiness left as I let go. His answers have been surprising. I have been given control in exchange for control. <span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: #990000;"><b>I'm gaining <i>self</i>-control</b></span></span>. When I feel like correcting my son, telling him what to do, engaging in the power struggles we are so experienced at falling into, I stop. I quiet my heart. I turn to God. I let go. I have control - over me. I have also been given freedom and trust in exchange for control. With that has come peace - you know that famed peace that passes understanding, that's the one. As my friend reminded me this week, we can't dictate what our children will choose anyway (and my sweet son isn't even choosing poorly yet - it's the darned fears that tempt me to board the control train time and again). <br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: #990000;"><b>I've come up with a little formula for myself in this process. It goes like this:</b></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: #990000;"><b>1. Decide what I will do.</b></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: #990000;"><b>2. Let them decide what they will do.</b></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: #990000;"><b>3. Pray like crazy.</b></span></span><br />
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That first line - decide what I will do - is all about healthy boundaries. I'm not talking about boundaries where I am secretly manipulating others to do what I want. You know, the way we can say something but underneath we aren't leaving anyone in the room any real choice or room to fail. No. Not that. <span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: #990000;"><b>I mean, I just decide what my limits are and I share those with my loved ones. Then I just live within those and let them make their own choices - without my expert advice, opinion and guidance</b></span></span>. This stuff is uber-practical. The other night my exhausted six-year-old was fighting sleep. He screamed at me in the height of his tired stupor: "You can't make me sleep!" I just said, "Oh, you are so right. I wouldn't even try. You are in charge of your sleep. I'm not. You can stay awake for the rest of your life if you like. I'd like you to sleep because I care about you, but I would never force you to sleep." To this, he replied with tears, "But, mommy, I'm so tired, I just have to sleep!" You see, when there is no power struggle, the fight often is over. Ingenious. Amazing. God-ordained goodness. {After all, He is the author of will and choice}. <br />
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Another sweet tool has been the family meeting ... but that will have to wait til next week. Can't wait to share about it with you, though.<br />
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<b><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: #38761d;">Where are you in the process of letting go? Are you finding yourself stuck in demanding that others do it the way you think it ought to be? Are you letting go, but grieving the losses that come with any process of relinquishing? Are you a pro at release? I'd sure love to hear and as always I'd love to pray for you wherever you are in the process. Share here or on the <a href="https://www.facebook.com/heartshomeward?fref=ts">Hearts Homeward Facebook Page</a>.</span></span></b><br />
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Linking up with .... <br />
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Pattyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14854370464356325974noreply@blogger.com11tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3345217407843497124.post-28540440732095385262015-04-04T14:59:00.001-07:002015-04-17T18:42:34.665-07:00Confessions of a Recovering Control FreakI hadn't seen her in a month or so - not since I went to her home to help work out the kinks in her daughter's sewing project one Saturday afternoon. As I rounded the corner in Target, on my quick jaunt through the store - you know, just zipping through for a few things - I saw her there, staring at the clearance items in the craft section. I said her name and she turned. We hugged the hug of friends who miss one another but can pick up where we left off no matter the time that has passed between our last connection. As we chatted it all came rushing out - how the family has been so sick and she's been homebound caring for them all. The conversation turned to our teen boys. Good boys from good homes still turn into teenagers and the various hormones and challenges {and girls!} throw us all for a loop. I told her that after only one year of being a teen mom I had this inner urge to walk up to every mom of teens I know, give them a hug, a gift card to Starbucks and shout, "You go girl! You are a rock star!" She said, "Why doesn't anyone tell us it will be like this?"<br />
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Now, don't get me wrong - and hang in there, all you moms of toddlers, you'll be okay. My son is amazing. Really. He's doing great for this age. Compared to me and my trek through adolescence, he deserves a gold medal. But still. The thing is that these years are meant for launching. <span style="font-size: large;"><b><span style="color: #660000;">I don't know about you, but I'm not so good at the letting go part of life</span></b></span>. I can organize circles around people. I am able to direct, plan and supervise. When it comes to letting go, I'm a hot mess.<br />
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The thing no one told me about being a teen mom is the refining plan of God. It isn't so much about my son and his need to become his own person as it is about me and my need to make sure he'll be okay - and by okay, I'm coming to find out I mean my version of okay. <span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: #660000;"><b>I had no idea how deep this need for control was in my heart</b></span></span>. It just doesn't rear its ugly head in the same way with littles.<br />
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Here, in the middle of my wrestling through release, God meets me. He has been quietly whispering redemption over unfinished business I didn't even know existed in my heart. <span style="font-size: large;"><b><span style="color: #660000;">It is for freedom that He set us free and He continues to relentlessly and gently pursue that freedom for each of us</span></b></span>. His oh-so specific touches come in unexpected moments. He speaks. I randomly picked up The Screwtape Letters (part of my resolve to read something written by C.S. Lewis every day because his writing clears the windshield and I see God more clearly through his lens). Right there, hidden in the preface was this amazing revelation as C.S. Lewis describes the way he imagines hell:<br />
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I feign that devils can, in a spiritual sense, eat one another; and us. Even in human life we have seen the passion to dominate, almost to digest, one's fellow; to make his whole intellectual and emotional life merely an extension of one's own - to hate one's hatreds and resent one's grievances and indulge one's egoism through him as well as through oneself. His own little store of passion must of course be suppressed to make room for ours. If he resists this suppression he is being very selfish. On Earth this desire is often called "love." In hell, I feign that they recognise it as hunger. </blockquote>
I feel this urge to assure you I haven't lived out my parenting life solely from this motive. Whatever. The point here is that this very motive - domination, suppression, control - has entered into my life as a parent, a wife, and probably to a lesser extent, a friend. <span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: #660000;"><b>God in His mercy is weaning me of the need to control</b></span></span>. Like all weaning, it feels a bit raw as I muddle along to what is next. <br />
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Once again, this isn't just for me or even just for those of us with children. <span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: #660000;"><b>When we examine our hearts, most of us will find places where we experience fear</b></span></span>. Fear leads to control. Control leads others to two reactions. They either conform, or they rebel. Neither outcome comes from health and love. We prefer conformity {mwah ha ha ... you ARE mine and you WILL do as I say}, but the truth is that conformity is external. God wants more. He knows what lies below the surface - in our hearts. He longs for and moves towards obedience rooted in love. To get us there He allows a vast opportunity for our free will and choice. He risks our foolishness and sin so that we might choose. I'm learning to follow His lead and allow those around me the same freedom - to fail, to fall, and ultimately to find their own way. <br />
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What this looks like in my life is that I am confessing my blunders to my son while asking him to give me some grace as I learn how to release him. I go to the Lord in prayer and confess my weakness and my deep need for Him. I ask Him for grace to trust Him more. I pour out my fears at His feet and try not to act on them in my relationships. <i>Perfect love casts out fear</i>. Trust doesn't mean promises that all will be well. It means God will be with me when the stuff hits the fan. Relying on Him doesn't mean others will go the paths I hope they will. <span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: #660000;"><b>It means I can focus on my own walk and abiding relationship and leave them free to be found by God in theirs</b></span></span>.<br />
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I am asking my son's opinion more. I am giving him the reins in choices about his life. I am stepping back while my husband steps in. I am challenging my son with my ideas of what I hope he'll strive towards and asking him what standards he wants to set for himself. It is so different from anything I've known. Pressing down on him with more rules and consequences will only produce rebellion (outward, blatant rebellion, or passive aggressive sneaking) or a compliance that doesn't engage his heart. <span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: #660000;"><b>As always, when it comes to Jesus, the way up is down</b></span></span>. The way to life is through the cross. I'm dying again - to self-reliance and control. Can you feel the breezes of freedom in the release?<br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b><span style="color: #274e13;">If you, like me, are walking into trust and letting go of control which is rooted in fear, I'd be honored to pray for you or just to say, "Way to go!" as you do. Share here or on the <a href="https://www.facebook.com/heartshomeward?fref=ts">Hearts Homeward Facebook Page</a>.</span></b></span><br />
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<a href="http://www.faithbarista.com/"><img alt="http://www.faithbarista.com/" border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhP0FuTG9gzDtTBnLyRIn9yTrc70OT6KhlnHkzg2gMNYcpRTqjZPT2ngMyYAlAW4Z7j5_A2oDorILUVwhQ2IEPZxV3wHeXYqqJuxYUBFptlj79gvOsErpnIsepYpSIORv_00lTgISgwxUg/s1600/beloved_brews_faithbarista_badge.png" /></a><a href="http://arabahjoy.com/category/grace-truth-linky/"><img alt="http://arabahjoy.com/category/grace-truth-linky/" border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEigx-ibmBLnRUok27UmKt-objOZRN8Q8HwcVDq4rO_1hiG3va14N0mPM2F3nFt2NNM1Eb1Yrseuus4b5177M1nQphSld5chicYYrsYEBULMB3qX7eKe1lSsWcf_ZT76z6aktBdqmv1bSrs/s1600/GraceTruth-300x300.png" height="200" width="200" /></a><a href="http://christianmommyblogger.com/good_friday_ff65/"><img alt="http://christianmommyblogger.com/good_friday_ff65/" border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjE54dsB44SpZRjroLl5YEXHr9ZiDWdZcJlTvnRSDYAROzPUPUhiMJGmYAOzGMc2zOy3aOIvyBjOMLFMr8l-jFj1M0K5-yIUQW4vNI758ufankRUPXncOFo6hyphenhyphenG-mXsAemrFTtQhOpVnc0/s1600/Fellowship+Fridays.png" height="127" width="320" /></a><a href="http://www.nancherrow.com/2015/04/fridays-unfolded-link-party-151.html"><img alt="http://www.nancherrow.com/2015/04/fridays-unfolded-link-party-151.html" border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhKX5fh6gG-7ByoDX5fmSFJADmnqee2sC0MQ6blo3QVoqAxcq6BfRarOvJ8ZgGCnojmDkuujzUc_l2YpKpYiN5EhcC4mOY98wr8yIb6mgV8uFxmgbQuyqR_3KpPcBLdrFnHu5wAzNyeLrE/s1600/fridaysunfolded4200.jpg" /></a></div>
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Pattyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14854370464356325974noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3345217407843497124.post-3715846081950037822015-03-27T00:07:00.002-07:002015-03-27T06:54:43.267-07:00The Other Half of the Story"God never gives you more than you can handle," she says, "so, you will get through this somehow." Hearing this profession, quoted as if from Scripture, gives me pause. <span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: #660000;"><b>It reflects a certain perspective about God and His expectations of us</b></span></span>. If He never gives me more than I can handle, then He must expect me to handle it, right? I've marched to that drum - expecting to pull myself up by the bootstraps, keep a stiff upper lip and press on (or whatever other "encouraging" can-do slogans Nike or the Queen of England want to pitch in here).<br />
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When you think about it, when the deep stuff hits the fan, it's really ALWAYS more than we can handle. Way more. God allows more than we can bear. He knows we are weak. The truth is whenever we can handle things, we often do so without a second thought about Him. <span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: #660000;"><b>When the tide starts to rise, we reach out for help</b></span></span>. I'm not saying we only draw near when trouble comes, but we sure have a desperation that is hard to come by on sunnier days. There's just something about a trial that strips us down and helps us look inward and upward. <br />
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Life wasn't designed to be "handled" and certainly not handled on our own. We weren't intended to bear our own burdens, solve our own problems or work out our own difficulties. <span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: #660000;"><b>God wants us to come to Him, to depend upon Him {and others} and grow in the process. </b></span></span><br />
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This week has been full of doosies. I'm on a personal learning curve in motherhood. As our children grow, we must grow with them. Each stage of parenting requires new skills. Just when we get really good at what they need and how to go about things, they change and we have to adjust. Parenting never runs on auto-pilot. We have to engage and be willing to go through huge emotional ups and downs as we walk with our children through life. The biggest challenges for me have come as I learn to let go and entrust my children to God. Sounds simple enough, but in reality I find I want guarantees from God ... I want assurances they will be okay before I really let go and trust. Unfortunately trust doesn't work that way. <span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: #660000;"><b>By its nature, trust means stepping out into the unknown and believing we won't fall. </b></span></span> Letting go of my children doesn't mean I abandon my role as their mother or set aside boundaries and limits. It means letting go of the outcomes of my parenting and being impervious to their reactions to those boundaries. I can only go so far laying the foundation and then they have free will as to what they do with what my husband and I provide. This is a hugely hard pill to swallow. Horse-sized, if you ask me. I've gagged on it several times along the way, but I'm getting it down bit by bit.<br />
I have to, for their sake.<br />
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You see, motherhood is a great investment, but it is an investment in a person. We don't get to own them or determine their path. We rear our children so that they will go on and have their own lives, still connected, but completely separate from ours. As much as I enjoy watching my boys become more dynamic, more interesting and more themselves, grief has surprised me at each passing season. <br />
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You may not be a mother. I bet you still have something in your life which has some claw marks on it from clinging while God is asking you to release. <br />
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Pull up Pinterest, Facebook, Google Plus, Instagram and you are flooded with images of life going well. Picture perfect living explodes across the screen. Celebrations, smiles {along with great lighting and Photoshop} sometimes shed a falsely biased glow over the lives we see from the outside. <span style="color: #660000;"><b><span style="font-size: large;">It can start to feel pretty lopsided</span></b></span> - maybe THEY are handling what God has given them. Maybe I'm the only one who ever raised her voice at her children or skipped a shower and just washed up with a baby wipe or fed the kids cereal for supper. Maybe I'm alone in this imperfection and weakness.<br />
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So, we decide not to share the other half of our story.<br />
We tuck it away behind our own posts of goodness and all-American dreams come true.<br />
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Trust me. Behind every one of those enviable posts lives a real person with real problems, trials of their own, an occasional broken heart and learning curves that take their breath away. <span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: #660000;"><b>Behind each of the golden moments, real people are living real lives with real struggles and their own fair share of both good and bad days.</b></span></span><br />
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We all know this, but sometimes it just needs to be shouted out again ... We aren't perfect - not one of us. Do you remember in the Wizard of Oz, when they finally come to him, all eager to get their wishes met? The curtain is pulled back exposing the wizard for what he really is ... just a man from Kansas. Life can pull back the curtain on us, and it should. <span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: #660000;"><b>We aren't super-human. We don't need to be</b></span></span>. <br />
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Right now, as I sit processing the emotions of this week, I'm acutely aware of the need I have for God and His power, love and comfort. I'm learning afresh that life isn't a relay race, where God passes me a baton and expects me to run the next stretch without Him or others beside me. I'm sharing my burdens with others and asking for their help. To say that is hard is an understatement. As humbling and awkward as it is, <span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: #660000;"><b>I am reaping great benefits by letting others pour wisdom, prayers and words of hope into my parched heart.</b></span></span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgHQ3y9nYWNN7t2Wpx3sq99JmLarAdzELWr0X7UnOOkoNYCcK8DakrsqKLn3_qMj5TqI4w0IKQItYj9hpAOAPXLxMdZgWBlxwfWa37rfYuHFHVl5gTIK4w3mc-nTcwfpCnOymHP2ORf7aI/s1600/strength+in+weakness.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgHQ3y9nYWNN7t2Wpx3sq99JmLarAdzELWr0X7UnOOkoNYCcK8DakrsqKLn3_qMj5TqI4w0IKQItYj9hpAOAPXLxMdZgWBlxwfWa37rfYuHFHVl5gTIK4w3mc-nTcwfpCnOymHP2ORf7aI/s1600/strength+in+weakness.jpg" height="466" width="640" /></a></div>
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I'm leaning on God - literally crying out to Him at times. I'm remembering, when I am weak, He is strong. His strength is made perfect in my weakness.<br />
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Someone once told me, "God is a gentleman. He won't force Himself on you. If you want to run the show, He'll step back and let you." I think some of that is true.<br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: #660000;"><b>Running the show is tiring. Letting go is hard. He remains present. </b></span></span> <br />
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This post won't be my all time favorite. It may not even "generate traffic." I'm sort of under the heap right now - living out the other half of the story - the one that never makes it onto social media because it isn't about how to bake the perfect pie, decorate your mantle just so, or parent with finesse. I decided to write this anyway, because maybe like me, you need to hear the other half of the story sometimes. <span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: #660000;"><b>Maybe you need to know you aren't alone</b></span></span>. Maybe you need that curtain pulled back on my life so you can have the courage to let yours be drawn open as well. <br />
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It will pass. I'll make it through. Just for tonight I didn't want to paint it other than it is - momentarily difficult, painful and reaching up to Jesus. <br />
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I can't handle all that life will dish at me, but <span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: #660000;"><b>He can and always will</b></span></span>.<br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b><span style="color: #274e13;">I would love to hear from you. If you are struggling or celebrating, I want to hear the other half of your story. </span></b></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><b><span style="color: #274e13;">Feel free to comment here or on the <a href="https://www.facebook.com/heartshomeward?fref=ts&ref=br_tf">Hearts Homeward Facebook Page. </a></span></b></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b><span style="color: #274e13;">Let's encourage one another and remember together we are never alone. </span></b></span></div>
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<a href="http://arabahjoy.com/category/grace-truth-linky/" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"></a><a href="http://www.faithbarista.com/2015/03/why-you-need-quiet-why-its-hard/" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img alt="http://www.faithbarista.com/2015/03/why-you-need-quiet-why-its-hard/" border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi4pX0s5PfjZ2ACqnTAhRFNeEIGhFTSgKa1bz_9jFkk4wqTrub8TXQU0uSd98z83culQA6YDvsTVCMUJAiAr0RBXmlJEYbSOIG386jgDnnuTVo7YhLl7IVN6EpALjImrAhPEk7Z2GMUwzQ/s1600/beloved_brews_faithbarista_badge.png" /></a><img alt="http://arabahjoy.com/category/grace-truth-linky/" border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhlz7fTvUkf53Y1_ctiQxN5GIQqHV-HWE_HyNpS22pjam5LySuPNkQluXuqTKNWHFVNH6B-FJzv2G2chyGc9kzOGzmiHRL43vmXZ1PxT6nuwQTS-vGBKXoHWaIIvZvaqprkoF_gTfR1xXg/s1600/GraceTruth-300x300.png" height="200" width="200" /></div>
<a href="http://christianmommyblogger.com/ff64_burdens/"><img alt="Fellowship Friday 64 & Burdens" class="" src="http://christianmommyblogger.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/07/new-FellowshipFridays1.png" data-thumbnail="7890" height="79" style="visibility: visible;" width="200" /></a>Pattyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14854370464356325974noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3345217407843497124.post-19555243171452007992015-03-21T15:38:00.004-07:002015-03-21T15:55:21.569-07:00Silencing Your Inner Pharisee She stepped up to the stage, bent over her guitar case and took her place on the stool in front of the microphone. Clearing her throat as she averted her glance towards the floor, she said, "You'll have to excuse me, I'm a little nervous." From the first strum, I sat captivated. Her voice was flawless and lilting in all the right ways. She held her guitar with an ease that told me this was her solace and her passion. I felt my tears welling up as I watched her tell a story with her music. Every so often throughout the performance her voice would crack just the tiniest bit and she would shake her head ever so slightly as if to say,<br />
"Not good enough."<br />
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When the recital was over, I made my way over to her and said, "I just wanted to tell you how beautiful your voice is and how moved I was - almost moved to tears - by the gift you have in your music. Thank you for blessing us with it. Oh, and one more thing. I saw you shake your head at yourself on several occasions as you played. You don't have to do that. You are amazing. <span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: #660000;"><b>Please don't ever shake your head at yourself</b></span></span>." I was near tears again as I walked away from her - her mother standing behind her, silently mouthing, "Thank you," to me. It was a message she wanted to give to her daughter, but at this age they don't always want to hear it from mom.<br />
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I felt like crying because as I was telling her, I was telling myself. I felt her pain of her self-rejection as I affirmed, "you don't have to shake your head at yourself." I knew what it feels like to be shot down by critics. I understand the all too familiar feeling that comes from internalizing those voices until they sound like your own. <b><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: #660000;">Perfectionism is poison</span></span></b>. Jesus called it leaven - the yeast that goes through the whole loaf that we are to avoid like the plague. <br />
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<b><span style="font-size: large;">You don't have to believe the lie: </span></b><br />
<span style="color: #660000;"><i><b><span style="font-size: large;">Not. good. enough. </span></b></i></span><br />
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I know that message and maybe you do too: "Here's the mark, and you missed it." Just whose mark is it that we are trying so hard to meet? Why is this mark always just beyond our reach? Even when we achieve what it is that we thought would make us happy or gain us approval, it is as though a new mark takes its place and on we go, jumping ever higher, but never quite satisfied with our own performance. <span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: #660000;"><b>All the while we are missing out on the biggest piece of the picture: abiding in love</b></span></span>. Then comes the greatest injury of all - we transfer our perfectionism onto God. <br />
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This week I've been pondering the Pharisees. Wherever we see Jesus interacting with them, we see them questioning Him (either directly or indirectly). <span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: #660000;"><b>He responds by either turning the tables on them so that they are left unable to corner Him, or by calling them out, exposing their sins</b></span></span>. In no other encounters do we see Jesus in direct conversation rebuking people, saying, "Woe to you." He met many who would seem to warrant condemnation and rebuke - harlots, thieves, drunks and the adultress. What was it about this group of religious leaders that caused Him to speak out so often and so severely?<br />
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What is the sin of the Pharisee? Basically, as I have searched through scripture this past week, I'm seeing the pattern of their lives -<br />
<ul>
<li>Beautiful and put together on the outside, while covering sin on the inside; </li>
<li>making a public show of their religious practices while neglecting their own inner life with God (abiding, love, mercy and humility); </li>
<li>Heaping rules on people rather than extending hope; </li>
<li>Preaching works righteousness rather than grace and dependence. </li>
</ul>
<span style="font-size: large;"><b><span style="color: #660000;">The Pharisee elevated himself based on his own works and then laid out a spiritual "to do" list for others. In so doing, he blotted out any need for God</span></b></span>. It's the tower of Babel all over again ... "I'll work my way to heaven." <br />
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Jesus made a statement about the Pharisees once to his disciples. He said, "For I say to you that unless your righteousness surpasses that of the scribes and Pharisees, you will not enter the kingdom of heaven." Here are the pillars of the faith - the Pharisees - those looked up to as holding the keys to the kingdom. We are told that we have to be even more righteous than them. At first glance it might seem that Jesus is asking us to do even more ... if the widow tithed her little mite which was all she had, I start to think I have to give even more sacrificially than her. When is it enough? How can I be sure?<br />
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We can try to perform for Jesus, hoping against hope that our giving, serving and doing is good enough. Secretly, in the recesses of our hearts, we know it is not. So we push ourselves to do more. <span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: #660000;"><b>A mentality based on earning will turn us into religious workaholics</b></span></span> - and sister, I've been there.<br />
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Into this frenetic striving Jesus breathes peace. What does it mean to be more righteous than a Pharisee? Jesus shows us, and it boils down to two simple aspects of life with Him. Above all else our righteousness must not consist of actions divorced from our heart. <span style="font-size: large;"><b><span style="color: #660000;">Our inner and outer lives must come together so that all our works are fruit which fall from the tree of our abiding, rooted in faith and nourished by grace and love. </span></b></span><br />
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Our works are fruit. They do not earn us one thing. They never have and they never will.<br />
Consider Eph 2:8-10 <br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: #660000;"><i><b>For by grace you have been saved, through faith, and that not of yourselves. It is the free gift of God, not as a result of works, than no one can boast. For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand so that we would walk in them.</b></i></span></span> </blockquote>
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Yes, we work. He planned for us to work. Rather than producing salvation or sanctification, our works are a response to a relationship. They are a reflection and extension of our abiding relationship, revealing His work in us. Any other work is empty and will burn off like chaff. Why? Because <span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: #660000;"><b>God wants <i>YOU</i>, not your works</b></span></span>. We might be satisfied keeping Him at arms length while we do all the good deeds of the faith, but He knows we need more than a job to do and a standard to live up to. We need Him. <br />
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Secondly, we remember that our righteousness is not our own. On the cross, Jesus made the great exchange. He took every sin we committed or will commit and every sin committed against us upon Himself and gave us His perfect righteousness in trade. I'm not just preaching to the choir here. I am reminding myself and you of the essence of the good news of freedom. It's a done deal. He did it already. <span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: #660000;"><b>That righteousness that exceeds the Pharisees, it's yours - free of charge to you, at full cost to Him, because of His great love with which He still loves you as you are right now</b></span></span>. Just take a bath in that truth. Can you soak down into it until your soul gets all pruney with the goodness of it? If it isn't in your bones, it's got further to go. Let the gospel get into the deepest parts of your heart. You are beloved - as is. You are righteous now - in Him. No works will achieve your heart's desire - just faith and grace filled with love. <br />
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We all have our own inner Pharisee - that voice telling us to jump a little higher, to make the outside look good and never, never let them see us sweat. We may try to check off the boxes on our own religious to-do list (praying in the morning, at meals, making sure we go to Bible Study, giving to the needy, be a godly wife and friend and on it goes). All those things are wonderful, but if they aren't fruit, they are burdens which do nothing but separate us from God. <span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: #660000;"><b>God aims to release us from these burdens and transition us from trying
to "be good enough" to the place where we know in the depths of our soul that we
are His beloved</b></span></span>.<br />
We didn't earn it and we can't lose it. <br />
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We can strive to earn the gift or we can open it, savor it, and like a little child, look up from this lavish provision and ask with all joy, "For me?" <br />
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This week as you go through your life, notice the voice telling you, "You need to lose weight," "Don't let them see you struggle," "You ought to say, 'yes' to that," "You aren't special" ... and silence your Pharisee. <span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: #660000;"><b>Jesus is always in the business of shutting down the Pharisees. He speaks peace and grace where they speak law and works.</b></span></span><br />
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Hear Him saying, "Woe to you, you blind guides, you empty, whitewashed tombs"<br />
... and then <span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: #660000;"><b>hear instead His beaconing invitation, </b></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: #660000;"><b>"<i>Come unto Me, Abide, You are already My beloved.</i>"</b></span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: #660000;"><b><span style="color: #274e13;">I love hearing from you. Feel free to comment here or on the <a href="https://www.facebook.com/heartshomeward">Hearts Homeward Facebook Page</a>.</span> </b></span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: #660000;"><span style="color: black;"><i><span style="font-size: small;">Linking up with:</span></i></span></span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: #660000;"><span style="color: black;"><i><span style="font-size: small;"> </span></i></span></span></span><a href="http://www.faithbarista.com/2015/03/becoming-clutter-free-in-your-home-your-story-special-guest-kathi-lipp/"><img alt="beloved_brews_faithbarista_badge" class="wp-image-30852 aligncenter" height="200" src="http://www.faithbarista.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/12/beloved_brews_faithbarista_badge.png" width="200" /></a>Pattyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14854370464356325974noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3345217407843497124.post-29729860022792287152015-03-10T20:55:00.002-07:002015-03-13T08:47:20.042-07:00When the Road Ahead is Unclear<span style="color: #660000;"><i><span style="font-size: large;">Uncertainty</span></i></span>.<br />
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Life feels predictable at times. My calendar teems with plans bound to happen. Our checkbook is balanced with enough to cover anticipated costs and then some. Jobs seem secure and promised. Everyone in the family is healthy enough for me to take it for granted. The living room is vacuumed, the dishes are clean and stacked in the cabinets and my "to-do" list seems attainable. <span style="color: #660000;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b>It is well with my soul when I can check off the boxes and feel a sense of control</b></span></span>.<br />
<br />
At other times life throws curve balls - hard ones.<br />
<br />
I remember when we were selling our first home. I was six months pregnant with our first son and my mother-in-law sent us an email with a link to some new houses being built in her area where mortgages were going to be way more affordable than our current home in Los Angeles. My (up to this point) very stable and predictable husband decided overnight that we ought to move to the Central Valley. So we sold. But it didn't happen quite that easily. Our house was on the market for weeks with people parading through at all sorts of hours while we kept things immaculate and took the dog on an infinite number of walks to clear out for would-be buyers. We did finally sell, but <span style="font-size: large;"><b><span style="color: #660000;">that inbetween waiting period was excruciating</span></b></span> - exacerbated by the nesting instinct I was going through. I longed to nest and I was being uprooted instead.<br />
<br />
You know how that is.<br />
<br />
We want roots. We want predictability. We want a plan. Or at least we want a clue as to which way the wind is going to blow so we can properly set the sails.<br />
<br />
If we are honest we'll admit that in the midst of these "hallway" experiences - where we are neither "here" nor "there" but just in the middle ground that seems like no man's land - <span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: #660000;"><b>we can get a bit upset with God</b></span></span>. I mean, shouldn't He give us a hint as to what is going on? Wouldn't it help for Him to give us a heads up? He sees us wrestling and yet sometimes we wait and wait and nothing seems to change and there isn't even a sign as to when this indefinite period of ambiguity will come to a close.<br />
<br />
Years before that house sold, I lost my job. I didn't know if we were going to be able to keep the apartment where we then lived. What would become of me? Would I ever work again? It seems like a lifetime ago when this happened, but in the midst of that trial, I felt like a looming mountain was over my head and every direction I turned I hit wall after wall. Ultimately I got a much better job and was able to finish my graduate degree while working, but <span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: #660000;"><b>in the middle of the storm I had no idea which way things would land</b></span></span>. <br />
<br />
I endured way worse trials when my father died, when my marriage hit unthinkably hard times, when dear friends ripped the rug out of relationship, when chronic health problems would not relent, when we left a church which had been our spiritual home for years, when people sinned against me or when sins I had committed caught up with me. <span style="color: #660000;"><b><span style="font-size: large;">Each of those experiences brought with it some sense that life had hit a dead end and I had seen the last of the "good ol' days."</span></b></span><br />
<br />
Sometimes we wait for someone to respond to an outstretched apology. Other times the doctor needs to call us with the results of our test. We can be waiting for a bomb to drop - just knowing that our boss or our spouse has news that will turn our life upside down. Waiting can even be for something wonderful like a new job, a proposal or a move. <span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: #660000;"><b>When it isn't coming as expected we feel unearthed and uneasy</b></span></span>. I don't know about you, but sometimes I'd rather have bad news than no news.<br />
<br />
Why does God not just forklift us out of these hallway experiences? Why isn't He like the great prince on a stallion, riding through and scooping us up, preventing our tears and grief? I will tell you what I have come to believe is at least part of the answer.<br />
<br />
While we long for something concrete - a sense of control and direction - <span style="color: #660000;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b><i>God longs for us.</i></b></span></span><br />
<br />
He knows that giving us what we are asking for - earthly security and one more chance to grab at the steering wheel of our own life - will keep us from true dependence upon Him. As I look back over the many "hallways" of uncertain times and the trials where my heart broke in two, I see clearly that <span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: #660000;"><b>I drew nearer to God in those times than in most others. </b></span></span><br />
<br />
God is the lover of our soul, the Good Shepherd. His name is Jehovah Jireh - The Lord, My Provider. Abraham spoke this name when God provided a ram in place of Isaac after Abraham had bound Isaac and was prepared (knife poised) to sacrifice his son. Talk about an excruciating waiting period! God did come through, but as He did, He brought Abraham to a place of deeper faith through the process of waiting. <br />
<br />
I am not of the mind that God brings calamity as an enemy bombs a shelter. <span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: #660000;"><b>God is lavish in His provision and He longs for us as a mother for her children or a lover for His beloved</b></span></span>. If we will not give our children stones when they ask for bread, it doesn't make sense that God would bring illness, calamity and hardship on those He loves. As Dallas Willard said often, "Don't ever believe a bad thing you hear about God - God is light and in Him is no darkness whatsoever." Amen, Dallas. God doesn't bring these hardships, but He allows them and makes good use of them - for our good and the deepening of our connection to Him. <br />
<br />
God uses these trials - and even the foggy times of waiting - to give us an invitation and an opportunity. He is with us in the waiting. He asks us to wait on Him. Not only that, He promises His presence and support as we do:<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhKf6Cgnq9foMyHYBZeMFHlk4cH4e4Abld_SFp7oelSSNZJw0B0XUlrDMpOmtVjpUneR491IPjc6sSwGRzWz7TzYlzPsjgW0WdTPAL9E25DxKFKiWSswrIgcnHfVwWFhFJkkP1CPxnFrMk/s1600/IMG_4297.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhKf6Cgnq9foMyHYBZeMFHlk4cH4e4Abld_SFp7oelSSNZJw0B0XUlrDMpOmtVjpUneR491IPjc6sSwGRzWz7TzYlzPsjgW0WdTPAL9E25DxKFKiWSswrIgcnHfVwWFhFJkkP1CPxnFrMk/s1600/IMG_4297.JPG" height="640" width="494" /></a></div>
<i>Those who wait for the <span class="small-caps">Lord</span> will gain new strength; They will mount up on wings like eagles, They will run and not get tired, They will walk and not become weary (Is 40:31). </i></blockquote>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: #660000;"><b>We wait and He waits with us</b></span></span>. Let's not waste these precious times of waiting by wishing them away. We can grieve and cry out to Him (a great way of connecting authentically which is modeled throughout scripture, especially in the Psalms). We can be filled with a range of emotions. Simultaneously we can choose to receive the gift He has for us in each of these seasons - the gift of greater intimacy with Him.<br />
<br />
The hallway can be uncomfortable with all its unfinished business. We long for a place to settle and we want answers. I'm not saying you should set up camp in the hallway, but maybe you can pause and see the goodness of His presence with you - as you wait.<br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: #660000;"><b>Where you are, He is with you - Jehovah Jireh, Your God and Provider.</b></span></span><br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
* * * * * * * * * * * * </div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: #274e13;"><b>Feel free to share your "hallway" here in the comments or on <a href="https://www.facebook.com/heartshomeward">my Facebook Page</a>. I would love to pray for you as you wait. </b></span></span></i><br />
<br />
<i><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: #274e13;"><b>Linking up with:</b></span></span></i><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<i><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: #274e13;"><b> </b></span></span></i><b style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhN86YQbMQcgeXC-DYSdOaoTs65aPRo67WUQ6Ou_ZxIKnZ64y_t5BvEB6IWsZKyuBv2CoF-npz7E1pPlPrtyZJbZjrxBZqh2rUdcWUbaXUkTgH3ah2livygC61CssoFZMzzegttc_PLSOI/s1600/GraceTruth-300x300.png" height="200" width="200" /></b></div>
<i><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: #274e13;"><b><br /></b></span></span></i></div>
Pattyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14854370464356325974noreply@blogger.com12tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3345217407843497124.post-67109438430408952552015-03-05T21:42:00.000-08:002015-05-16T23:00:48.332-07:00God is With You My friend and I sit on couches facing one another, sharing depths of our hearts and listening. We hold sacred space as we read from spiritual books together, pray and dare to speak of longings and brokenness. One phrase echoes in my heart:<br />
<br />
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<br />
<br />
So simple and yet the strongest of tethers, <span style="color: #660000;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b>this short string of words bound my wounds and instilled hope.</b></span></span> Life can be so unpredictable and relationships upend us without notice. The impeccable and intimate timing of the Lord through the midst of trials brings the very words we need to hear to draw us nearer. <br />
<br />
I'm bringing up two boys. Their lives entwine with mine and I feel all the ebbs and flows of what comes at them and through them - oh the growing pains of motherhood! Through it, the echo persists:<br />
<br />
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<b><span style="color: #660000;"><span style="font-family: "Edwardian Script ITC"; font-size: 36.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I am with you</span></span></b></div>
<br />
<br />
Just in this season, I picked up a book which I had dabbled into a few years ago. I never made it past the first few chapters then and the message never permeated past my spiritual epidermis. This time through I am sopping up the goodness. Sitting in my chair at church I heard a quiet thought, "Read Leanne Payne again." That same week in a conversation with my mentor she happens to mention, "I was thinking you might want to read Leanne Payne." Then I receive an email that Miss Payne was very ill and needed prayer. A week later I got the email announcing her passing and commemorating her ministry and her love affair with Jesus. <span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: #660000;"><b>Sometimes God leads us so specifically</b></span></span>. <br />
<br />
Miss Payne begins her book by celebrating smallness. What a way to start! A woman with an international healing ministry talks about the essential need to acknowledge her own insignificance. I remember <a href="http://heartshomeward.blogspot.com/2015/02/strength-in-weakness.html">writing just a few weeks ago</a> about what it means to find strength in weakness ... again God echoes His messages to me.<br />
<br />
As significant as that was, the second chapter calls me deeper still. Here she explores <span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: #660000;"><b>the need and blessing of practicing the presence of God. </b></span></span><br />
<br />
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As I read about Henri Nouwen, C S Lewis, Mother Theresa, Brother Lawrence and others I hear the echo deep within me </div>
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<br /></div>
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I decide to practice this discipline by repeating that phrase throughout my day.<br />
<br />
I'm painting baseboards in our Living Room: <!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<br />
<span style="font-family: "Edwardian Script ITC"; font-size: 36.0pt; line-height: 115%;">God is with me <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"></span></span>...<br />
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I'm reaching out to my teen son as he navigates the hard roads of growing up:</div>
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<span style="font-family: "Edwardian Script ITC"; font-size: 36.0pt; line-height: 115%;">God is with me <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"></span></span> ... </div>
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<br />
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I'm hosting children in my home: <!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<span style="font-family: "Edwardian Script ITC"; font-size: 36.0pt; line-height: 115%;">God is with me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: #660000;"><b>It isn't just a mental exercise of repeating words</b></span></span>. This mantra awakens my amnesia-prone soul to the reality of what is unseen. As Paul told us to "fix your eyes not on what is seen, but is what is unseen," these words give me spiritual binoculars to see beyond what presses in around me. Elisha saw chariots of fire all around on the hills - He saw what was unseen and that seeing gave him peace, courage and wisdom. When I remind myself "<span style="font-family: "Edwardian Script ITC"; font-size: 26.0pt; line-height: 115%;">God is with me</span>" I see beyond my circumstances. I enter His presence and everything is transformed. </div>
<br />
After years of walking with Him, I feel like a baby all over again as I practice His presence in this way. How often do I go through my day keeping Him at arms length or acknowledging Him on occasion or waiting until certain moments of the day to draw near - during devotions or prayers at mealtime or bedtime or when trouble crowds in?<br />
By simply saying in my heart, "<span style="font-family: "Edwardian Script ITC"; font-size: 26.0pt; line-height: 115%;">God is with me</span>," I am brought to a moment-by-moment faith.<br />
<span style="color: #660000;"><b><span style="font-size: large;">God is near</span></b></span>. <br />
<br />
The deepest desire of our hearts cries out to be beloved, forgiven and held. <span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: #660000;"><b>Like winter snow piling up over flowerbeds, our daily shuffle can crowd out His presence</b></span></span>. He remains, yet we can not sense how near. We have covered Him without meaning to and we long for what is hidden yet alive with promise. <br />
<br />
We are beloved, yet we live like those who need approval and fear rejection.<br />
We are invited, yet we remain just outside the banquet hall.<br />
We are chosen, yet we act like we never made the cut.<br />
<br />
Just today, even this week, I invite you to join me in remembering. <span style="font-family: "Edwardian Script ITC"; font-size: 36.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin;"> </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Edwardian Script ITC"; font-size: 36.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin;">God
is with you.</span>. <span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: #660000;"><b>Remind yourself in as many moments as you can</b></span></span>. Don't leave your bed in the morning without stilling your rambling thoughts and recalling how cherished you are - by the God who is with you always. As you go through your day, bring to mind, "<span style="font-family: "Edwardian Script ITC"; font-size: 26.0pt; line-height: 115%;">God is with me.</span>" Allow the awareness of His presence to become like air to you. It won't come easily at first, but as with any practice, in due time you will not even have to work at all at what had been a discipline.<br />
<br />
<i><b><span style="color: #38761d;"><span style="font-size: large;">I would love to hear from you as you practice the presence of God. Feel free to share here or share on <a href="https://www.facebook.com/heartshomeward">my Facebook page</a></span></span></b></i>. <br />
<br />
Let's remember together: <!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<![endif]--><span style="font-family: "Edwardian Script ITC"; font-size: 36.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin;">God
is with us.</span>. <br />
<br />
<br />
Linking up with ...<br />
<a href="http://myfreshlybrewedlife.com/2015/03/deepening-the-weekend-brew.html"><img alt="http://myfreshlybrewedlife.com/2015/03/deepening-the-weekend-brew.html" class="aligncenter" src="http://myfreshlybrewedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/11/theweekendbrewbutton.150.jpg" height="200" width="200" /></a> <a href="http://www.faithbarista.com/2015/03/the-pink-outfit-why-joy-takes-courage-choose-joy/"><img alt="beloved_brews_faithbarista_badge" class="wp-image-30852 aligncenter" src="http://www.faithbarista.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/12/beloved_brews_faithbarista_badge.png" height="200" width="200" /></a> <a href="http://countingmyblessings.com/yes-you-can-do-everything-with-big-love/"><img alt="“countingmyblessings"" src="http://countingmyblessings.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/11/LinkPartyButton.jpg" height="200" width="200" /></a><a href="http://www.missionalwomen.com/faith-filled-friday-blog-link-up/faith-filled-friday-the-new-veggie-tales-movie-noahs-ark"><img alt="Picture" src="http://www.missionalwomen.com/uploads/2/1/9/4/2194091/746506.jpg?449" height="200" style="max-width: 100%; width: 449px;" width="200" /></a> <a href="http://arabahjoy.com/using-prayer-prompts-with-link-up/"><img alt="Grace&Truth-300x300" class="aligncenter size-full wp-image-11381" src="http://arabahjoy.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/02/GraceTruth-300x300.png" height="200" width="200" /></a><img alt="Fellowship Fridays 61 & Friends" class="" src="http://christianmommyblogger.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/07/new-FellowshipFridays1.png" data-thumbnail="7890" height="79" style="visibility: visible;" width="200" />Pattyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14854370464356325974noreply@blogger.com14tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3345217407843497124.post-48969186106009762112015-02-24T23:08:00.003-08:002015-02-24T23:51:30.266-08:00A Father's LoveHe stares up at me with the big brown eyes that capture every inch of my heart and says, "Mommy, I love you." I sweep him up into my arms and hold him tight, <span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: #660000;"><b>aware that every moment is slipping by faster than I would like</b></span></span> and I want to savor this child like a sweet ice cream on a hot August day. Something has shifted in me. My dear friend said it. She sent me a text that said, "I see a change in you ... you have this calm about you ... you are so free - calm, yet confident in what you need to do." It's true. Love is continuing to do its work - the work of transforming, the work of freeing.<br />
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Love. That was my word for this year. I prayed over it and chose it carefully. <a href="http://heartshomeward.blogspot.com/2015/01/when-you-are-brave-enough-to-choose-love.html">I blogged about it</a> as so many bloggers do when they find their word for the year. Then I found myself missing the mark {of course} and that drove me deeper. <span style="font-size: large;"><b><span style="color: #660000;">I relentlessly pursued love</span></b></span>. I determined to cut back until I made room enough to be available for Love. I read "<a href="http://lysaterkeurst.com/the-best-yes/">The Best Yes</a>" and it prompted me further into paring down, scaling back, choosing well. I revisited "<a href="http://www.faithbarista.com/finding-spiritual-whitespace/">Finding Spiritual Whitespace</a>" and I remembered Shalom - the peace He longs to give me - peace that comes from wholenesss - wholeness that comes from finding my home in Him<br />
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<span style="color: #660000;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b><i>just as I am</i></b></span></span>. <br />
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Somewhere along the line something has slipped away and something else has taken its place - like a shifting of two pieces of silk gliding across one another. <span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: #660000;"><b>My anxiety and need to control has drifted off and this calm interior has grown up in me stronger than ever</b></span></span>. I'm just more okay. The best part of it is that I know it wasn't me doing the shifting. I'm almost an observer to my own sanctification at times.<br />
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T.S. Eliot said "God breathes through us so completely, so gently, we barely feel it." That's it. <br />
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This friend of mine has a daughter. When she dances ballet, her little five-year-old hands make these graceful movements that take your breath away and make you feel the world is alright in just that moment. She twirls and flits around with a sheer love of dance and all things fine and beautiful. Because she is completely in the dance she takes you with her. Her father, the professional photographer, beams with pride as he captures every nuance of her performance with not one, but three cameras strategically placed around the auditorium. He edits the film of her dance when they get home and puts it up on Facebook for the world to see with the caption, "I'm so proud."<br />
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It was then it hit me - <span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: #660000;"><i><b>a father's love is like that</b></i></span></span>.<br />
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He loves her with his being and everything about him is focused on capturing all that she is doing. He was proud of her before she ever set foot on stage - because a father's love isn't about our performances. <span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: #660000;"><b>He loves her as is</b></span></span>. He doesn't want to miss one heartbeat. Willing to make a display of himself for her sake, he ensures that he catches it all, soaks it in, documents it and shares it with everyone: "This is my daughter! I love her! I'm so proud of her!"<br />
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You get it, don't you, how our Father loves. He captures the moments of your life. He hones in on them as though you were alone on a stage, dancing your dance. He doesn't want to miss a single second. He wants to take you in and then He wants to show you off with great pride - not because of what you have done, but because He loves you so - with a Daddy love - <span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: #660000;"><b>just because you are His</b></span></span>. You aren't lost in the crowd. You are singled out in His heart. He just can't get enough of you.<br />
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Maybe your past is a bit like mine and your father wasn't able to reflect the consistency and safety that God extends to us. Maybe your father was absent or abusive or neglectful or critical or just wanted you to be more than was reasonable. Maybe your father was exactly what you wanted, but he wasn't what your mother wanted, so you ended up torn in two between parents who couldn't solve their differences. <span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: #660000;"><b>When we live through human failures, we tend to lose sight of the pure goodness of God's love</b></span></span>. God starts to feel like He is an extension of our parents - broken, distant, uncaring, rejecting, demanding and even dangerous. How can we turn to a God like that? How can we not? If we know He is God, we know we have no alternative but to follow Him. If we fear He is cruel, rejecting or unpredictable, we have no option but to try to appease Him while keeping a safe distance. We offer sacrifice but we dare not truly draw near.<br />
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I lived like that for years in my faith walk - coming close and then pulling back - leaning on myself for the harder things because leaning on Jesus seemed a bit too risky. I kept the faith by going through the motions while my heart was divided. <span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: #660000;"><b>I wanted connection, but feared rejection</b></span></span>.<br />
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Yet it was for freedom that He set us free. He simply won't settle for less. We are settlers. We are often willing to accept "good enough" rather than go through the hard places, feel the painful feelings and dig deeper into our longing for Him. What if we cry out for Him and He never quenches that thirst? Sitting back seems safer than risking. We can live like that - running the Christian habitrail - Going to church, reading our Bibles, praying the prayers, serving in ministry after ministry ... yet never drawing near enough to find out if He is really, really good. <span style="font-size: large;"><b><span style="color: #660000;">We keep the rules, but we neglect Him in the process</span></b></span>. <br />
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We can get on in this way, but He can not. <span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: #660000;"><b>He died for our intimacy and He will patiently woo us into love with Him</b></span></span>. That's my story. It's unfolding as we speak. I'm learning to allow release. I'm learning to risk. I'm learning to do more than hope that He is setting up three cameras to catch my every move, all the while, He is not so far away as He cheers, "There she is! That's my daughter! Look at her!"<br />
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What if He's savoring me - like I'm savoring my sweet son.<br />
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Perhaps forever isn't nearly long enough to experience all the love we have to receive and give.<br />
Maybe forever starts right now - as is - broken, imperfect and fully loved. <br />
Love is my word for the year. <span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: #660000;"><b>I'll miss the mark, but He never will</b></span></span>. <br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b><span style="color: #274e13;">Where are you today in the middle of this love story</span></b></span><span style="color: #274e13;"><i>? Are you coming to know His love more fully? Or do you still fear He may leave you, judge you or reject you? Have you risked getting closer? Do you ache with longing for more of Him? Please share here or on my <a href="https://www.facebook.com/heartshomeward?ref=br_tf">Facebook Page</a> or send me a private message if it feels too vulnerable to post a response ...</i></span><br />
<span style="color: #274e13;"><i>Let's encourage one another as we walk through what blocks us from greater intimacy, growth and freedom in Him. </i></span>Pattyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14854370464356325974noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3345217407843497124.post-41801200915718256312015-02-13T01:55:00.003-08:002015-02-13T02:27:51.570-08:00Strength in WeaknessWe were in church, singing this song which I have sung hundreds of times before ... and we came to this line:<br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: #990000;"><b>I will find my strength in the shadow of your wings</b></span></span></blockquote>
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I don't know how or why things sometimes evade me, but eventually, at the proper time, I have an "aha" moment and I see something I never saw before. That's what happened in the middle of our musical worship. As I sang that line, I saw myself, running into the shadow of His wings and I saw, clear as day, that He was hiding me in shelter, protecting me with His goodness and care. <span style="color: #990000;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b>It hit me then, that "my strength" <i>IS HIM</i></b></span></span>. It won't ever be that I find my strength, like a car coming to a filling station and leaving to zoom around without the nozzle of gasoline pumping in. I find my strength right there - in the shadow of His wings. Near Him. Under His care. Fully connected. Utterly dependent. This is where I am strengthened because <span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: #990000;"><b>He is my strength</b></span></span>. </div>
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I think that up until that moment I never fully realized that the only thing I bring to the party is weakness. I won't ever bring my own strength. I will heal, yes, and I will find strength, yes. But <span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: #990000;"><b>I will never be strong without Him</b></span></span>. Quite frankly, I wonder why I ever wanted it that way in the first place. With him is so much infinitely better. <br />
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I'm not saying we have no goodness within. God made us all in His image - that means we are precious, unique, special enough to die for and beloved enough to indwell. Despite that goodness, on my own I am weak and broken. What is good in me was there by design or redeemed by His hand and even that is weak without Him. </div>
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You know how God tells us in Romans not to be conformed to the pattern of this world? Sometimes that pattern is so imperceptible. We don't see how we have swallowed the culture around us and made it a part of who we are. <span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: #990000;"><b>All around us messages clamor telling us to be strong and self-sufficient - sometimes even in our churches</b></span></span>. We come to believe we are supposed to overcome sin by our might. We are saved by grace, but get out of the way sister, we've got this sanctification thing covered, thank you very much. Yet, God is mindful of our frame. He knows we are but dust (Psalm 103). He doesn't expect more from us than is <i>humanly </i>possible. </div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: #990000;"><b>Instead of expecting us to muster our own goodness and strength, He is telling us, "Run to Me - find your strength in Me." </b></span></span></div>
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There's a line in another song we sing as Christians, starting in preschool Sunday School: </div>
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Little ones to Him belong; They are weak, but He is strong <br />
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Those little ones, arent they all of us? We are weak, but He is strong. Why do we resist the truth of our own weakness? I think it is because we fear. <span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: #990000;"><b>We fear God will be like others who have hurt us or expected too much from us. </b></span></span>We'd rather clean up first and then approach Jesus than to come as we are and risk rejection or disappointment. I spent years in the faith wondering why God seemed so far off when I was really just too hesitant to approach Him fully and freely. My wounds kept me stuck. My perfectionism blinded me to His abundant love and grace. <br />
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The Apostle Paul boasts about God, "And He has said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for strength is perfected in weakness' ... therefore I will boast of my weaknesses ... for when I am weak, then I am strong." Paul found the secret. <span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: #990000;"><b>When we let go of trying to achieve perfection, we are open to receive the grace of God - unmerited goodness and love freely given; we are free to be just as weak as we are</b></span></span>. Like a child in the safety of their loving parent's arms, we can relax and trust. Ironically, this is when amazing things begin to happen. From the ashes of our weakness, He brings inexplicable beauty. </div>
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In the process of growing into trust, I have been led to encounter <a href="http://www.faithbarista.com/about-bonnie/">Bonnie Gray</a> and have been going through her book, <a href="http://www.faithbarista.com/finding-spiritual-whitespace/">Finding Spiritual Whitespace</a> (as those of you who come here regularly know). This week I was reading a section of her book called "the Basement" where she recounts early abandonment and the longing for peace. I had seen around the web this new movement of <a href="https://www.facebook.com/groups/675075232583189/">Bible Journaling</a>. All of a sudden while reading this chapter in Bonnie's book, I decided to journal about peace - the word Shalom in all its deeper meanings. As I sat in the corner of a Starbucks, my legs folded and journal open in my lap, verses about peace began to enter my mind. The process was slow and soothing. <span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: #990000;"><b> I was worshiping God with my pen and paper as my mind was fixed on Him and His goodness. </b></span></span></div>
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<b><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: #0b5394;">Shalom ... A Deeper Peace ... Real ... Wholeness ... Complete</span></span></b>. </div>
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It dawned on me that in wholeness we are lacking nothing. He, the Prince of Peace, the God of Hope, can and does fill us with joy and Shalom as we trust in Him. <span style="font-size: large;"><b><span style="color: #990000;">This dynamic healing process in my life has been just that - being weak enough to dare coming unglued in His presence and being filled with unexpected Shalom. </span></b></span></div>
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But, trust didn't come easily or overnight. As a matter of fact, it is still coming. I'm a work in process, learning to find my rest in Him and to let Him into every recess of my heart. So, tonight, I found a verse for us - for me and for you - a verse about the shadow of His wings. I journaled this verse so we could ponder it and delight in the sweet truth it offers. </div>
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Come run with me, into the safe shadows. Come dwell in the love we find there. </div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: #990000;"><b>Come weak and broken sinners and find yourself singing </b></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: #990000;"><b>as you dare to trust His goodness</b></span></span>. </div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: #38761d;"><b>I encourage you to try your hand at scripture journaling or any other creative way you think of to abide in God and His Word. Please share here or on <a href="https://www.facebook.com/heartshomeward">my Facebook page</a>. I'd love to see your worship in art (which does not have to be Pinterest worthy <i>at all</i>). As always, I'd love to pray for you - especially those of you longing to grow in trust and in coming to Him just as weak as you are</b></span>. <br /><br />Linking up with </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><a href="http://bit.ly/belovedbrews">Faith Barista (Bonnie) </a></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><a href="https://www.blogger.com/%3Ca%20href=%22http://christianmommyblogger.com%22%20target=%22_blank%22%3E%3Cimg%20src=%22http://christianmommyblogger.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/08/FF-Button-Final.png%22%20alt=%22http://christianmommyblogger.com%22%20width=%22150%22%20height=%22150%22%20/%3E%3C/a%3E">Christian Mommy Blogger</a></span></div>
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Pattyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14854370464356325974noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3345217407843497124.post-54466197600932131812015-02-06T00:59:00.001-08:002015-02-06T01:19:53.811-08:00Pick up Your MatHave you ever heard a call to something that made your knees knock - something that would require bravery you are more than sure you do not have? I'm stepping out here into brave territory and writing from the heart once a week. You might wonder why this personal "journal" is being written in such a public place as a blog ... It is because I imagine some of <span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: #660000;"><b>you may need to hear something of what I have gone through and how God can touch a heart to move a soul towards true freedom</b></span></span>. <br />
<br />
A few years ago I "met" Bonnie Gray as I started reading her blog "<a href="http://www.faithbarista.com/finding-spiritual-whitespace/">Faith Barista</a>." A little over a year ago I started blogging and linking my posts to her weekly link-up. We connected there and Bonnie extended me the privilege of being in a group of women who were a part of her book launch team for her memoir, "<a href="http://www.faithbarista.com/finding-spiritual-whitespace/">Finding Spiritual Whitespace</a>." If you haven't read the book yet, buckle up. It's not spiritual cotton candy. In it Bonnie invites us by way of her own self-disclosure to look at our own walk with Jesus and our longings and wounds so that <span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: #660000;"><b>we can find what it is He really holds out to each of us - Himself, and rest in our relationship with Him</b></span></span>.<br />
<br />
Now Bonnie is hosting <a href="http://www.faithbarista.com/bookclub/">a virtual book club</a> which anyone can join in to be a part of a cyber-community going through her book together. I have read Spiritual Whitespace myself, bought it for friends, recommended it to others, read it aloud to women I mentor and am walking through it with a dear soul-sister friend of mine now. <span style="color: #660000;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b>Every time I read that book it unearths me in the best of ways</b></span></span>.<br />
<br />
This week on her blog Bonnie shared <a href="http://www.faithbarista.com/2015/02/why-we-shouldnt-move-past-what-hurts-us/">a visit with her mentor</a> and talked about a specific passage of scripture as it related to her feelings about longing for healing, but being attached to "the mat."<br />
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In John 5:5-8 we meet this man who has been laying by the pool for 38 years. 38 years!! Jesus comes to him and asks him a question ...<span style="font-size: large;"> </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">Some time later, Jesus went up to Jerusalem
for one of the Jewish festivals. Now
there is in Jerusalem near the Sheep Gate a pool, which in Aramaic is called
Bethesda and which is surrounded by five covered colonnades. Here a great
number of disabled people used to lie—the blind, the lame, the paralyzed. One
who was there had been an invalid for thirty-eight years. When Jesus saw him
lying there and learned that he had been in this condition for a long time, he
asked him, “Do you want to get well?” “Sir,” the invalid replied, “I have no one to
help me into the pool when the water is stirred. While I am trying to get in,
someone else goes down ahead of me.” Then Jesus said to him, “Get up! Pick up your
mat and walk.” At once the man was cured; he picked up his mat and walked.</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiCCA3I5u-tb1itJu67dfplELscv7wnG6EKiRvX2Cl4uzPApV4EjS1WRYIHjL9o-f2ozyG6mJnbxGk1N74d7yOerdhvG89vALdQ_S71pJxtVBUqXH9kQUin1vyfEkWinWz_DYqONGSONy8/s1600/pick+up+your+mat.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiCCA3I5u-tb1itJu67dfplELscv7wnG6EKiRvX2Cl4uzPApV4EjS1WRYIHjL9o-f2ozyG6mJnbxGk1N74d7yOerdhvG89vALdQ_S71pJxtVBUqXH9kQUin1vyfEkWinWz_DYqONGSONy8/s1600/pick+up+your+mat.jpg" height="640" width="538" /></a></div>
<br />
Jesus asks, "Do you want to get well?" Isn't that a question for all of us?<br />
I do want to get well, and yet I can fear, like this man, that healing won't be for me. It's for the others who are ready to dive in and seem to cut in line to get their share. It's for those more deserving. It's for anyone but me. "I have no one to help me," he says. How often have I thought that very thing. Feeling the weight of the world on my shoulders since around age four, I haven't always known what it is like to truly allow someone to help me. Maybe there were people around this man who would have gladly helped him if he had only had eyes to see. I know as I have healed, I have allowed more people to bless me and I have learned to be vulnerable enough to be incomplete, broken, needy and to receive. When I was truly hurting, I needed you to see me as perfect. I held on to my self-sufficiency and my ability to do it all. <span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: #660000;"><b>I longed for people to help me into the pool, but how could they when I wouldn't allow them near enough and they never saw my past my polished exterior to see my gaping need. </b></span></span><br />
<br />
Jesus said to him, "Get up! Pick up your mat and walk." At once the man was cured. He never even got into the pool. Isn't that amazing! After 38 years of laying beside what he thought would be his solution, he finds complete healing without ever touching one drop of the water from that pool of hope. Sometimes I'm laying around, like this man, though my "laying around" is way more busy and frenetic than actually sitting still somewhere for 38 years! <span style="font-size: large;"><b><span style="color: #660000;">I, like him, have tried to put my hope in something I can see and touch</span></b></span>. Read more, pray more, lose weight, get to bed on time, drink more water, practice forgiveness ... and in comes Jesus, breaking unexpectedly into the traditional and saying, "Look over here, I am here and healing is with Me, not in these activities. You are waiting for the wrong thing."<br />
<br />
He tells me to pick up my mat. This year I have spent time praying and thinking about what my "mat" could be. Like this man at the pool, my mat is comfortable, though it keeps me stuck. It is what I have known and relied upon while hoping for healing. It is my poor substitute for God Himself: Perfectionism, living up to external standards, caring what others think, fearing the future, fearing rejection - these threads make up my mat. <span style="font-size: large;"><b><span style="color: #660000;">To take it up is to let it go and to live without both the hindrance and familiarity of my woundedness</span></b></span>. If only I were cured at once as this man was. Maybe his 38 years of hopeful anticipation paved the way for a quick pass to healing. In my case, the healing has come over time and with much sputtering. <br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjAN_Iyxc9mYj1gKKkyDf4_6CG8gvHvKmx75mASXIL1p7nbtBipYHeweQ4J3M8_MjwaX0xDkw_d7aJ57FhHPIFCT7odyfX8-0M5jT3Wyg5chLU44OUkufQ36rgCk0L2XEOfD7B5HVP0vk4/s1600/two+paths.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjAN_Iyxc9mYj1gKKkyDf4_6CG8gvHvKmx75mASXIL1p7nbtBipYHeweQ4J3M8_MjwaX0xDkw_d7aJ57FhHPIFCT7odyfX8-0M5jT3Wyg5chLU44OUkufQ36rgCk0L2XEOfD7B5HVP0vk4/s1600/two+paths.jpg" height="512" width="640" /></a></div>
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<br />
Tonight as I sit here, pouring my soul onto paper, I am sure of one thing. <span style="color: #660000;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b>There are two choices laid before me and you</b></span></span>. One is to stay by the pool, nursing our woundedness and hoping for healing, but fearing it will pass us by, all the while relying on what we have known and grown accustomed to - our mat. The other is to take up our mat and walk into the healing journey Jesus is inviting us to take. For me this means putting on blinders and losing my care about what others are doing and what they will think. It means blazing new trails that bring me closer to Jesus. It means living a life full of "no" answers so that I can say "yes" to time with Him and a pace that allows for me to feel emotions and be present with others who are on their own healing and growing journeys. It means savoring my relationships (as Jesus savors His) and being authentic instead of conforming to the pattern of this world. <br />
<br />
How about you? Are you feeling the knee-knocking call to bravery in the deepest places in your heart? <i><span style="font-size: large;"><b><span style="color: #274e13;">Do you long to pick up your mat?</span></b></span></i> Along with Bonnie, I encourage you to ask yourself, "What is my mat?" and "What would it look like if I picked it up?"<br />
<br />
I'd love to hear from you here or on <a href="https://www.facebook.com/heartshomeward?ref=br_tf">my Facebook page</a>. I'd sincerely love to pray for you and support you as you courageously take up your mat. <br />
I plan to blog bold and brave once a week on Thursdays.<br />
<span style="color: #274e13;"><span style="font-size: large;"><i><b>Come back and join me anytime</b></i></span></span>. <br /><br /><img alt="Beloved Brews Linkup" src="http://www.faithbarista.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/12/beloved_brews_faithbarista_badge.png" style="border: medium none;" title="Beloved Brews Linkup" />Linking up with Bonnie (again)Pattyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14854370464356325974noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3345217407843497124.post-20520018202384126212015-02-04T20:52:00.001-08:002015-02-04T20:53:10.296-08:00Overcoming Homeschool Burn Out ... You Are Not AloneI sat in my big green chair the other night, feeling like a failure. In my right mind I knew I was tired, coming off a week of illness which had followed an amazing vacation away. This was not the moment to measure my worth or my performance in any arena of life. Still, I sat there, up later than I should be because my mind was buzzing with thoughts about the ways I hadn't lived up to what I wanted as a home educating mom.<br />
<br />
It's funny how we create agendas for ourselves, set the bar at a certain height and then when we fail to meet our own self-imposed standards, we berate ourselves for not measuring up. Why do we need these measurements? <span style="color: #660000;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b>I truly think it is fear that drives us into creating false expectations</b></span></span>. We fear letting go and trusting that our kids are going to be alright. We worry that we aren't doing enough. We burden ourselves as though we hold the key to their success and our efforts and input are going to make all the difference in their long-term happiness. Truthfully we can get ourselves so worked up that we are burnt out before our feet even hit the floor to start the day. <br />
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As I sat there in my big green chair, I decided I ought to email all my inner craziness to a dear friend. I told her she surely didn't need to respond - after all I was just venting and I'd be better after a good night's rest. <span style="color: #660000;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b>How little I realized I needed her response</b></span></span>. She lovingly answered. {God is so good, you know?} She took the time to jot down some wisdom about letting go and giving myself grace. She reminded me how amazing my boys are in the ways that matter and how in her eyes I"ve had something to do with their love of learning and their sweet character. I was so touched and encouraged. <br />
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The next day I opened my inbox to see <a href="http://afterthoughtsblog.net/2015/02/secrets-from-charlotte-mason-on-preventing-homeschool-burnout-get-enough-sleep.html">a blog post from another friend</a>. According to her, <span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: #660000;"><b>February is burnout month for home educators</b></span></span>. I am just a statistic after all. That, believe it or not, was very comforting. My little middle of the night musings about how I've failed my boys are not unique. Maybe you've had these dark moments too. We all go through times when we want to throw the towel in. <br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><i>A few things saved me from my self-deprecating spiral </i></span>...<br />
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<span style="color: #660000;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b>I didn't keep my thoughts to myself. </b></span></span><br />
Call a friend, email, text, put a sign in your yard ... do what it takes to let those who care about you know that you are tying a knot at the end of your rope and hanging on for dear life. Don't fret that they will think you are less than amazing. Honestly, most of them will be relieved to know there is one more mom out there who flounders sometimes. Share your burden and you cut it at least in half. <br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b><span style="color: #660000;">I was reminded that I wasn't alone.</span></b></span><br />
This is normal stuff - burnout. It happens to the best of moms. It's par for the course, so it will pass. You will rise up again and do things with your kids that make you say, "Homeschool, baby!" all over again. <br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: #660000;"><b>I stepped back to get perspective</b></span></span>.<br />
Remember your mission. Why do you home educate in the first place? What have you always loved about the way you learn together as a family? What have your kids loved in the past? Take some time to remember what is most important to you. Sometimes this even means taking a day or two off of any structured school work just so you can step back, breathe, plan, rearrange and come back refreshed. So you just took three weeks off for the Christmas season. You can still take a day or two this week and in the long haul it won't matter one iota in terms of what you miss. It may make a world of difference in what you gain. <br />
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<span style="color: #660000;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b>I recommitted to what matters most</b></span></span>.<br />
What matters to me is my boys' character and their relationships: with God, within our family and with others. What matters beyond that is specific to each boy. I remembered my priorities and I am still taking time looking over what I think we need to add, drop or rearrange to make the rest of this school year more of what I want it to be. Home education, like flying, requires a constant adjustment to remain on course. There is no such thing as autopilot. <br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b><span style="color: #660000;">I took a breath</span></b></span>.<br />
Whatever you do, invest in recharging your battery. You won't ever miss the little time you take off, but you'll make some memories you wish you could delete if you don't care for your burnout by filling your own tank and regaining perspective. This can mean doing something fun instead of the same old, same old. It could mean scheduling a field trip. Maybe it's taking school out to the park or another setting. Inviting another family to join you for learning one day can give you much needed time with another mom while giving your kids the connection they crave. Sometimes we just have to allow the kids to pop movies in for part of the day while we step back and truly regroup by praying and planning. <br />
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If you are a statistic like me and February hit you with burnout, <span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: #660000;"><b>be encouraged</b></span></span>. You'll make it through this. Don't throw in the towel just yet - at least not until you try on a few of the suggestions here.<br />
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<span style="color: #274e13;"><span style="font-size: large;"><i>I'd love to hear from you and pray for you. Leave a comment here or on <a href="https://www.facebook.com/heartshomeward?ref=br_tf">my Facebook page</a>. </i></span></span>Pattyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14854370464356325974noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3345217407843497124.post-89205740621822154312015-01-05T22:23:00.001-08:002015-01-05T23:01:53.151-08:00When You Are Brave Enough to Choose Love<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<![endif]-->Once again the “One Word” frenzy is upon us as a new year
rolls in.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You hear the buzz: “<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: #660000;"><b>Have you
picked a word for 2015</b></span></span>?” and maybe you have chosen a word or maybe you just aren’t
the word-picking type.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>For most of my
adult years I’ve been asking God to give me a Bible verse each year which He
wants to work out in my heart and life.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I start in mid-December or sometimes much sooner and I pray and ponder
different verses.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I know any one of them
would be great, but I wait until one hits me just right.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Once this “One Word” thing started gaining
momentum, I decided to tag that onto my verse for the year so now I ask God for
a word to connect with my verse.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><br />
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<br /></div>
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This year I considered several dozen words. I thought about
"confide" and "trust" and "rest" and
"simplify" and "gentleness" - all of those would have done
well - but then this word floated up to the top. I prayed for a verse and <span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: #660000;"><b>I sensed
deeply God calling me to know His love and reflect it wherever I go - through the
trust, rest, simplicity and gentleness that I find when I confide and abide in
Him</b></span></span>.</div>
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Then I found the verse: Eph 3:17-19 </div>
<br />
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So that Christ may dwell
in your hearts through faith; and that you, being rooted and grounded in love,
may be able to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and length
and height and depth, and to know the love of Christ which surpasses knowledge,
that you may be filled up to all the fullness of God.</div>
</blockquote>
<br />
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</div>
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So I set off with a vision and intention to love well … and
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: #660000;"><b>then real life set in</b></span></span>.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You know, the
life where people we live with are grumpy and suddenly love isn’t as rosy and
idyllic as it seemed it would be.</div>
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<br /></div>
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It was then that I realized {once again} that this “One Word”
stuff seems catchy, but it is not for the faint of heart.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If we pick a word, laden with meaning, and
really long for God to bring its reality in our lives and hearts, we have to
know there will be growth involved – and where there is growth, there are the
inevitable growing pains.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
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<br /></div>
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This Sunday our pastor said, “<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: #660000;"><b>Christianity is a comforting
religion, but it isn’t always comfortable</b></span></span>.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
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<b><i>Yeah, baby</i></b>.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
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<br /></div>
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I don’t want to shirk back from this word: Love.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I want to embrace it and that means <span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: #660000;"><b>I’m going
to have to roll my sleeves up and be willing to hurt</b></span></span>.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Like today, when my teen son {ay yi yi, when
did it happen that I have a teen?} got upset that his workload for homeschool
is “way too big” and decided to consume about a cumulative four hours of our
day with a variety of pouting, bucking the system and just plain old fashioned
grumpiness.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I rode it out like one of
those people at the fair hanging on for dear life to the bronco ride.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Truly.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>At intervals throughout the day he would repent and show maturity and say he was wrong and
try his hardest, but then he would start up again.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I get it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>None of us want to come back to hard work after some sweet time
off.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Still, the roller coaster ride just
about did me in. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Which is probably why
the sight of my darling husband coming in the door at the end of his hard day
brought every suppressed frustration in my soul up to the surface and I threw a
tantrum of my own about how hard the day was and how much I had lived through
and how I just can’t juggle it all.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">It occurred to me in the midst of my little meltdown that I wasn't quite fulfilling my vision of "love." It's true I hadn't blown up at my son as I was more prone to do under stress in years gone by, but all the end-of-the-day rant proved was I have miles to go in terms of growing into love. And that's okay. We don't get to start anywhere but right where we are and God knows that better than we do. This learning to love thing (whether it's your word for the year or not) is really a journey and God is aware of what we bring to the party. He's just glad we accepted the invitation and He's got a plan to soften the rougher edges as we go. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
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It takes courage to pick a word – if you really mean
it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If you really, really crave the Lord
and His goodness like I do then you go forward, brave like the heroes listed in
Hebrews, but raw like the real people God exposes all throughout His word and
history.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: #660000;"><b>We’re all just clay footed
people longing for the goodness of God and stepping out brave into new years
with a hope that maybe, just maybe we can be a bit more like the words we
choose. </b></span></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Growing in love might not be so pretty after all.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But, I’m not giving up.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’m going to hang in with my amazing son when
he is feeling and expressing what I am not willing to say – “I just don’t want
to go back to school yet and I miss break!”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I am going to hang in with myself when I come unraveled at the wrong
time and unload on my dear unsuspecting husband as he walks in the door.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’m going to go back and retread the paths to
those hearts that mean the most to me – to say “I’m sorry” and to patch up
broken places.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: #660000;"><b>I’m going to rest in the
love God has for me and learn even more what it means to abide as a broken, imperfect,
seeking sinner-saint, daily needing Him if I’m ever going to reflect Him at
all</b></span></span>.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Each attempt to love shows me more and more what it means to
depend upon Him.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s easy to plan to
love in those misty moments of vision where all goes well and Mother Teresa’s
got nothing on me. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="color: #660000;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b>It’s the going out
from those private moments into real life with real people that makes the
difference</b></span></span>.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When the rubber hits the road, love gets dirty
and learning to love means deeply trusting God afresh and leaning into Him more
and more.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It’s not sappy and it’s not as easy as it might seem, but
one thing it won’t be is boring or fruitless.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>God is in favor of love and through this year He will make me into a
better lover and one who receives love better and more fully than I do
today.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Of that I’m sure.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Growth always starts from the point where we
realize how far we have to go.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Stepping
out from there is simply brave.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: #660000;"><b>So I’m
going to be brave enough to choose love</b></span></span>.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i><span style="font-size: large;"><b>What’s your word or longing for the coming year? I sure would love to hear</b></span></i>.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
Pattyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14854370464356325974noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3345217407843497124.post-70558284806382164712014-12-11T23:56:00.001-08:002014-12-11T23:56:28.183-08:00Finding Peace in the Busiest Time of the YearIt's Advent and we're only a few weeks away from Christmas. Usually, for our family, with one December birthday to celebrate and my long "to do" list of how to make this the most spiritual Christmas season ever, we are swamped knee-deep in activity, both in and out of the home. All good, mind you, but still, a swamp by any other name can still bog us down and threaten to drag us under. <br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><b><span style="color: #660000;">What's different about this year</span></b></span>? <br />
<br />
I've been asking myself that over the past few weeks as I've been feeling like a witness to my own life. I think I've narrowed down a few key things and if they helped me. If they helped me, they are bound to help someone else ...<br />
<br />
First of all, somehow, without my own consent, I've started keeping away from social media for the most part. I know that's a big blogger no-no. I mean, if you want people to read your blog, you have to pump up the promotion on Twitter, Google Plus, Facebook, Instagram and while you are at it, drop index cards with your blog address in the bags at the checkout lines ... But, <span style="color: #660000;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b>something told me to step back and it was that whisper - maybe even the same whisper Elijah heard in the wind - and I listened</b></span></span>. This time I listened without fear of losing. I'm just not going to stay the course for the sake of keeping people reading my blog. I want to write from the life I live. That means I have to have a life. Sometimes that means I just need a break. <br />
<br />
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<br />
Deeper down, somewhere in the ever strengthening recesses of my heart I have known that I needed to step back. If God is calling me to slow, and I persist because "that's what bloggers do" then I'm basically going against what I hear God inviting me towards. These days I just don't want to do it my way. <span style="color: #660000;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b>I want to follow those deeper and more risky, against the grain calls of the Lord no matter where they lead</b></span></span> (for those of you who read the Bible, you know that His call often leads to desert places for a while before anything visibly profitable happens). I've taken an unexpected break from blogging. I didn't decide not to blog, I just haven't had the time to put into the writing, creating images to go with the writing, etc. So I stopped for a week ... or two ... which turned into four. It is freeing to be able to back off in order to come back refreshed with something to say. <br />
<br />
As I dropped off of social media - from spending maybe an hour to two hours a day (not counting the two hours plus when I'm actually writing a post and embellishing it) to about five to ten minutes a few times a week, I've gained some free time and a bit of space to myself. Sweet exchange. <br />
<br />
Secondly, I have been reading "The Best Yes" by Lysa TerKeurst. Such a great book! I have really internalized the messages I have been growing into for years but not quite solidifying. The wisdom and personal sharing made this book one of my favorites. Thoughts like, "Every decision has a direction and every direction has a destination" gave me focus when thinking through my own "yes" and "no" answers over the past few months. Those "no" answers are hard for me. <span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: #660000;"><b> In order to say "yes" to the best things, and to get to the place where this season is truly a joy, I have had to say "no" to thousands of things</b></span></span>. Literally. Each declined opportunity I watch go on by just like watching a train leave the station while I sit firmly planted on the platform waiting for my own train to come. How many times have I gotten on any train that opened its doors to me, just because I couldn't wait, didn't want to disappoint or felt it was something I could fit in without sacrificing anything? <br />
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<br />
Every "yes" has a cost (or two or three) and I am counting the cost more effectively these days and making sure I am giving my "best yes" instead of just being a "yes girl." Besides all this refined decision making, our whole family purged one item per person every day in November, so <span style="color: #660000;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b>we learned the art of letting go and only keeping what is beautiful, meaningful or purposeful</b></span></span>. And, oh, girlfriend, there is so much more left to purge! I'm on a purging binge if there really is such a thing! It's so liberating and it simplifies life in the best of ways. Let others have the things we aren't using while we appreciate and use the things we keep.<br />
<br />
<br />
Letting go of much and saying "no" a whole bunch has left space which has created a sense that we have options. We don't have to rush and there is plenty of time to connect and do what really matters to us. As Ann Voskamp says, "Rushing is for amateurs." <br />
<br />
Finally,<span style="font-size: large;"><b><span style="color: #660000;"> I'm seeking to be true to myself and what God is specifically fitting me to do</span></b></span>. I'm applying that to all areas. In our home education, we follow on specific approach - Charlotte Mason. I've been a hugely devoted follower and have read most of her books as well as books about her and her method. I've been in Charlotte Mason discussion groups, taught others how to implement her methods and principles, etc. At the end of the day I've figured something out. You can let a method or philosophy become supreme in your life until you are adjusting everything to fit into it instead of letting the pieces that fit come into who you are individually and collectively as a family. <br />
<br />
It's subtle, but <span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: #660000;"><b>whenever we start holding up an external and then adjusting ourselves to fit into the mold, we can lose our bearings in the process</b></span></span>. So, I stepped back. The group (whom I love) is studying a book that isn't a priority for our family right now, so I took a hiatus from attending the meetings. I've been studying my boys and observing their unique needs and strengths and considering what things I need to do to help them grow. Instead of looking out, I'm looking inward and upward. It feels good to draw back and assess and not to measure myself against anything. I am just seeking God and making choices to be true to the person He made me to be. I'm following my true North. <br />
<br />
We have forgone a whole lot of our usual Advent flurry: <br />
We aren't doing a Jesse tree this year. We put up the decorations a week later than we expected to do. We aren't planning a giving activity for every day of Advent. Those traditions are great, but they aren't a fit for this year. I feel okay letting them pass us by this once - and I'm a way more pleasant mom and wife as a result. <span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: #660000;"><b>Stress and worship don't mix</b></span></span> and I've tried to force so many "good things" into this season in the past that I've burnt myself out and missed the heart of Christmas in the process. <br />
<br />
Instead of scheduling our Advent and planning in all sorts of spiritual to-dos, we are spontaneously giving. We are talking a lot about God and His coming. We are continuing our Bible Studies and we are going through an Advent prayer book. We are reading various stories which highlight this season - but even in that we are taking them as they fit rather than compulsively working them into our week. This week we sang at the nursing home with a group of local home educating families. We have had friends over for tea. I'm able to offer to have a friend send her children to me one day a week so I have a bigger brood to educate and care for that day. <span style="color: #660000;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b>I have the space to give from my heart because I cut out the online time drain, I focused on my "yes" and "no" answers and I am being true to myself and God. </b></span></span><br />
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<br />
If you are feeling harried and frenetic this Advent, I encourage you to step back and choose well. Pick the ways you can give your best "yes" answers. That may mean giving a whole lot of "no" answers in the process. Be true to yourself and let go of comparing, keeping up or even seeking to mold into something wonderful that isn't a fit for you after all. Find the peace and joy of Advent by simplifying and allowing God - the God who broke through history for you - to guide you into His unhurried way.Pattyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14854370464356325974noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3345217407843497124.post-24595781739089310672014-11-11T22:19:00.001-08:002014-11-12T07:41:51.207-08:00Be Anxious for Nothing<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-style: italic;">A conversation with my dear friend this week brought up the thought –
are we more anxious these days or do people just talk about it more?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Surely in our age with wars going on around the world, economic and political uncertainty
and the barrage of information about situations over which we have no control,
we have cause for more anxiety.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Our personal lives add stress and cause for fretting. Yet,
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: #660000;"><b>God’s provision and promises do not expire</b></span></span>.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>They weren’t for “back in the day when Jesus walked.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> They are for you and for me today in this moment and age. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-style: italic;">Surely there are many causes for anxiety and I never want to minimize
the reality of panic attacks, anxiety disorders and overall fearfulness which
can come as a result of old traumas, recent grief or physiological
imbalances.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>These conditions can plague
wonderful, God-honoring Christians and they aren’t a sign of weak faith that
merely needs to pray harder, serve more, or memorize more verses of
Scripture.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: #660000;"><b>The reality of anxiety in our
lives has many roots</b></span></span>.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>While holding that
truth in our minds, let’s look at what God invites us into.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-style: italic;">As we walk through Philippians, we come to this verse: </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: .5in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in;">
<b><span style="font-size: large; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-style: italic;">Be anxious for nothing, but in
everything by prayer and supplication </span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;">
<b><span style="font-size: large; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-style: italic;">with thanksgiving let your
requests be made known to God (Php 4:6)<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></b></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-style: italic;">The word for anxious in Greek is <i>merimnaō</i>.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It actually means “to take thought of,” “to
be troubled with” or “to seek to promote our own interests."<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"></span>God is
telling us not to dwell on anything that would cause us to be caught up in
fear.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We don’t need to be troubled.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We can come to God in prayer.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-style: italic;">You may wonder what the difference is between prayer and
supplication.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The original word "prayer" as it is used in this verse means setting aside a special place to talk to God as if in a sanctuary.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The word supplication means asking and seeking.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I love the image God is painting here.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: #660000;"><b>He wants us to set aside a private place and
time to come to Him so we can present what otherwise troubles us</b></span></span>.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> We have an invitation to a personal sanctuary in and with Him. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-style: italic;">I was so intrigued to find that the meaning of “anxious” revealed a
seeking of our own interests.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There is a
selfishness which comes from fear that causes us to hoard and rely on ourselves
instead of trusting God’s lavish provision.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>We lean towards anxious self-reliance when we don’t trust in God.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In Matthew 6:25-34 God reminds us we don’t
need to think of what we will wear or eat, how long we will live or what will
happen tomorrow.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="font-size: large;"><b><span style="color: #660000;">We can rest because God
knows our needs</span></b></span>.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-style: italic;">Elsewhere Jesus tells Martha (Mary’s sister) that she is “careful”
(anxious) and troubled of many things.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>He is encouraging her to trust Him and abide with Him instead of
fearfully flitting about getting her external world in order.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Sometimes it feels as though we can contain
anxiety by ordering our world.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> Do you feel that way? <span style="color: #660000;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b>We fear the disorder because it makes us vulnerable</b></span></span>. Being vulnerable makes us open to hurt. Keep it tidy, stay busy, and we don't have to risk. We don't have to feel. Oh, I get you, Martha. I've been there done that. </span></span></div>
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjt7-QRxWa5QBlZo8LiIsuPo7TLTgqjFP4KTi6eJlkR6_b5VIHeXdIuZMcFBMd0HYOmJd3mf7mq9u8SbARDM6BimK9jSgtJlE8bZYraZScTQUoo5fDuQ9cZyCxjBdZfTyzcbIw4Hes6pqc/s1600/risk+intimacy.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjt7-QRxWa5QBlZo8LiIsuPo7TLTgqjFP4KTi6eJlkR6_b5VIHeXdIuZMcFBMd0HYOmJd3mf7mq9u8SbARDM6BimK9jSgtJlE8bZYraZScTQUoo5fDuQ9cZyCxjBdZfTyzcbIw4Hes6pqc/s640/risk+intimacy.jpg" width="560" /></a></div>
<br />
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-style: italic;">God
offers something greater and simultaneously harder.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In order to find peace, we have to risk
intimacy which means relinquishing control and allowing ourselves to come
unglued before Him.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In this quiet,
private place of entreating, we can learn to be safe and pray.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> It means letting go and that's no small invitation. He is patient and He waits for our readiness. I have had to heal much from pains I held near and couldn't relinquish. My internal, unseen wounds plagued me and held me back. Let me assure you, <span style="color: #660000;"><b><span style="font-size: large;">God is relentlessly gentle</span></b></span>. He won't give up. Never. He'll hang out, hang on, hang in. He's here even when every emotion in your body tells you elsewise. Imagine the person whom you trust the most in the world and then amp that care and safety on spiritual steroids. That love. That patient love is His for you. Come as you are and cast your cares on Him because He cares for you. </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-style: italic;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">If you stand at the edge of the pool, longing to swim, to go deeper, to be known and simultaneously safer than you ever imagined, yet you can't bring yourself to jump into His arms, ask someone to stand with you, hold your hand and jump in together. Sometimes it takes that willing lifeguard to help us off the edge of our self-reliant hesitations. Jump in. The water is warm. <span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: #660000;"><b>You will not drown in anything but love</b></span></span>. </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgxJEesrzf3M-EUtpuc1F19N_Bh0ycHIIoILl_yrqzWoqsNNw0GEVx225YaSV2I4fEsBtvvwgtSIHqXhmBIVZlPNx1FeT6lewolaE2Fb3-KbWeNhawrB-oMQ8qHBU0r_xevwOJTuT5O678/s1600/Jump+In.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="628" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgxJEesrzf3M-EUtpuc1F19N_Bh0ycHIIoILl_yrqzWoqsNNw0GEVx225YaSV2I4fEsBtvvwgtSIHqXhmBIVZlPNx1FeT6lewolaE2Fb3-KbWeNhawrB-oMQ8qHBU0r_xevwOJTuT5O678/s640/Jump+In.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-style: italic;">We can experience such safety that we brim with thankfulness – not necessarily for what has passed, but
for what we trust, in faith, is yet to come as we surrender to Him all that concerns us.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="color: #660000;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b>Certain of His goodness, we can know that no harm will come to us even though we surely will endure hurts</b></span></span>. We can present our requests and know that God who loves us will meet our
needs.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>As a matter of fact, His Word
promises He provides more than we can ask or imagine.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-style: italic;">Today, as you go through your day, stay tuned into your heart.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When you find yourself fearful or anxious,
pause.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Go to a quiet place, set aside
for you and Jesus (even if that is the bathroom while your children are
knocking at the door) and present your requests from the place in you that trusts Jesus, knowing
God will surely meet your deepest needs.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> Oh, let Him in. <span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: #660000;"><b>Take the chance to be more intimate than you have dared so far in your walk up to this moment. </b></span></span></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Edwardian Script ITC"; font-size: 28.0pt; line-height: 115%;">~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~</span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I pray you found a breath of fresh
air here and a moment to reflect and recharge your battery.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I do love
hearing from you.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> If something you read here touched you, please share with me. Come join the conversation at the <a href="https://www.facebook.com/heartshomeward">Hearts Homeward Facebook page</a>. </span>Let me know how I can
pray for you or if something I wrote here touched you.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></i><span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;"></span></div>
Pattyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14854370464356325974noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3345217407843497124.post-16732718278106253602014-11-08T23:32:00.001-08:002014-11-09T00:23:27.276-08:00Prayer Infused Parenting<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: 18.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Praying</span></b></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">It’s a given
we pray.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Or is it?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span> </span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">The disciples wisely asked Jesus, “Lord,
teach us to pray.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We need to learn.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>God
makes it extremely easy to approach Him – the God of the universes.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He paved the way – not just on the
cross.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Oh, on the cross, yes.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But, He paved the way from the beginning.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He made us for connection.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He is relational and He created us as
participants in, responders to and dwellers in His love.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So, in some ways, <span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: #660000;"><b>abiding is prayer at its
raw essence</b></span></span>.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You know when you know
someone for years and you love them well and there is comfort and security in
their presence?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Words become somewhat
unnecessary.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Just being together is
communion.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">God draws us
to Himself, yet we still need to learn, for our own sakes, how to enter into
His presence and to trust Him well.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We
need to learn how to approach Him like a Father and how to pray over every
little thing.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: #660000;"><b> </b></span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: #660000;"><b>Throughout His Word, God
is leading you to come to Him, to share your heart in the midst of all the range of
emotions and experiences of your life</b></span></span>.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He
calls you His friend and invites you to confide in Him.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Jesus modeled intimacy with the Father and
spent time alone withdrawing to pray.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Paul encourages to pray on all occasions, to present your requests, to
pray for the saints, pray in your anxiety, pray with thanksgiving.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He constantly calls you to prayer.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> He may be calling all, but know that He is calling you. Don't miss the intimacy of this invitation. </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">You may feel like you have been given a checklist and God is saying, “Check off the prayer
box.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> It's </span>not like He has told you pray at all times and in all places and then peers “down from heaven” while you
are at the grocery store with two in the cart and one running ahead down the
aisle and says, “Uh oh, she’s not praying.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Tsk, Tsk, Tsk.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">You laugh,
but the truth is that somewhere in the recesses of our hearts, we often think
of God as being less than happy with us and way more demanding of us than He
is.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Psalm 103 assures us He is mindful
of our frame.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He knows.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span> </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">He knows what you are made of because He made you.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He calls you to a depth and
connection in prayer, but He will bring you there.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: #660000;"><b>He knows you cannot muster a good and
effective prayer life without Him</b></span></span>.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Hear His
assurance to you: “though you do not know how to pray, the Spirit intercedes for you
with groans you cannot understand.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He’s
got you covered.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">It does
matter how we view God when we pray.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Not
in the way that some say.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It isn’t a
“faith” that makes God work for us.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We
don’t change His mind or make things go a certain way.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He isn’t a vending machine or a short-order
cook.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He isn’t beholden to our commands
or demands.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Prayer isn’t an order given
to God so that we get more comfort or our requests get met.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Prayer allows us to enter into His presence
as we are, learning to see Him for Who He Is.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: #660000;"><b>In this process we are transformed and our prayers become echoes of our
connection to Him</b></span></span>.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">The prayer
of faith avails much.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’m not making
that up.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Jesus said so.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When we pray in faith, we are entering into
the reality where Jesus lives.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We are
believing in Him and His goodness and His love for us.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: #660000;"><b>Faith involves knowing Him as He is and
believing that He will do what is best</b></span></span>.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Prayers
of faith do not guarantee circumstances will change, though they often do.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Prayers of faith guarantee we will change –
our perspective, our priorities, our passions – and through that inward change
God moves mountains.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">My prayer
life has not always been constant or deep.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I have struggled with prayer at times when I drowned in doubt and
pain.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I have had seasons when I felt my
words hit the ceiling, bounced around and rattled out into space with no
response.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I have been bone dry and
parched, aching for His touch and wondering why I felt so lost and empty.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If you are longing, I understand.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It is such a painful and sometimes private
place to be.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: #660000;"><b>Over time I have learned
that longing is a gift</b></span></span>.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It has rarely
felt like a gift in the moments when I experienced unmet needs and barrenness where
connection and comfort would have been my preference.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">One treasure
of prayer God has given me came through unexpected places.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I have a dear sister friend who walks through
valleys and celebrates joys with me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She
and I have prayed for our sons together regularly almost daily by phone for
years.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We used to be neighbors and now
we live in separate states.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>God wove our
lives together for many reasons – one of which has been to pray hard over our
boys together.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: #660000;"><b>We get the privilege and
the responsibility as moms to pray our children through life</b></span></span>.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We can pray blessings over them, pray for
their needs and pray protection around them.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I strongly encourage you, no matter the age of your children, to draw
near to a sister friend and commit to praying for your children together.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Beyond
praying for our children, we need to pray with our children.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Children learn to do what they experience and
witness.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When prayer centers our home,
they know.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When we reach to God with
trust, they watch.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When we lead them
into His presence, they come.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Wherever you
are in your prayer life, there is room for growth and increased intimacy with
God.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>His riches and goodness are too
great to fathom.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We will never come to
the end of Him and His love.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="font-size: large;"><b><span style="color: #660000;">Come as you
are and step into His presence</span></b></span>.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Talk
with Him, share your burdens, lift your praises, present your requests and give
thanks.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Pray with your children, not
just at set times.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Walk with them in the
pattern of prayer.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> <br /><br /><i>I would love to hear your prayer stories ... prayers answered, longings still unsatisfied, prayer warriors in your life ... Beyond that I would love to pray for you. Share your request here or on the <a href="https://www.facebook.com/heartshomeward">Hearts Homeward Facebook Page</a> and I will be honored to pray for you. <br /><br />This post was shared on <a href="http://christianmommyblogger.com/fellowship-friday-44_handing_over/">Christian Mommy Blogger,</a> <a href="http://reneweddaily.com/recommendation-saturday-power-prayer/">Renewed Daily</a> and <a href="http://myfreshlybrewedlife.com/">The Weekend Brew</a></i></span></span></div>
Pattyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14854370464356325974noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3345217407843497124.post-4833200027209512322014-11-03T23:32:00.000-08:002014-11-08T23:57:50.056-08:003 Habits for November<br />
So, I'll be getting the rest of my {ahem} 31 posts for October {shhhh
... don't tell that I didn't finish them all in October} out in the
next few weeks. I was going to post one today and then I thought I
really wanted to share what I am doing in November in case it inspires
any of you to do the same. The good news is that I gave myself the grace to let those posts go when life trumped writing. I let the important rule over the urgent and figured the timing of their release will fit you as well as me. It is most important that we live well and then pour out from the well-lived life rather than meeting a deadline and becoming less of who we are called to be in the process ... But, I digress ... back to the reason I put those posts on hold ... <br />
<br />
I'm taking on three simple
habits this month. <span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: #660000;"><b>Three little life-changing habits to help fix my
eyes upward, make my life more intentional and give me a heart of
gratitude in the season of Giving Thanks</b></span></span>. Controversial as it has
become, Halloween has passed us by now. Even when the holiday seemed
more innocuous, I've always been glad when it is behind us because it
means we all get to start focusing on gratitude - collectively.<br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><b><span style="color: #660000;">Habit
#1 - I'm purging</span></b></span>.<br />
Actually our whole family is purging one item a day
in November. I've even recruited some friends who are doing this with
their families as well. There's nothing like a group effort to make us
all commit and feel a bit of camaraderie and accountability.<br />
<br />
I've heard a lot of rumbling lately about how cool
it is to be a minimalist. I want to say it is awesome and I appreciate
so much of the spirit behind simplicity and owning less. I recently
read <a href="http://theartofsimple.net/does-simple-living-always-mean-less/">this post</a> that talked about simple living not always having to do
with having less or doing less. It has to do with intentionality.
Letting your yes be yes and your no be no. <a href="http://heartshomeward.blogspot.com/2014/07/let-your-yes-be-yes-and-your-no-be-no.html">I've written plenty about that</a>, but also it goes deeper. What Lysa Terkeurst calls our "<a href="http://lysaterkeurst.com/the-best-yes/">Best Yes</a>"
involves truly choosing well. <span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: #660000;"><b>I've decided I'm not going to be a
minimalist. I'm going to be an "intentionalist." </b></span></span> I'm coining it here.
You are among the first to hear the term.<br />
Let's do it. Let's be
intentional.<br />
<br />
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Along the way, that does mean some purging
may have to happen. I've always been a purger - scheduling several
times a year when we go through the home and get rid of things that
don't fit, aren't used, are broken, others need, etc. The book that
amped up my ability and focus in purging was <a href="http://tshoxenreider.com/organized-simplicity/">Tsh Oxenrider's "Organized Simplicity."</a> Beyond being a book about organizing, it leads you into
evaluating your purpose, your family's mission and how you can aim
towards those goals. She introduces this little idea of <span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: #660000;"><b>only keeping
things that are "purposeful, meaningful or beautiful.</b></span></span>" I've taught my
children this tool for choosing what they keep and it has been a great
blessing to us all. This book, by the way, contains so much goodness that I have to highly recommend it. <br />
<br />
So, this November, I'm purging.
Our whole family has agreed {ok, I wrangled them} to give up one item a
day. Each item has to be our own. In other words, I can't give away my son's toys and they can't pick the china cup in the tea cabinet. We are on
day three and we've gotten rid of way more than our mere 12 items. I've
gone through my jewelry, make up and hair stuff. I've gone through the
attic (oh, yes, girls) and the garage. We still have more that could
be tackled out there, but hey, it's a start. We pile up our selections
every day and at the end of each week I'll take everything to the
Goodwill.<br />
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Here's what I hope will happen from this
habit: We'll be lighter (letting go of unneeded things that take up
physical and mental space in our lives). We'll value what we keep a bit
more. <span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: #660000;"><b>We'll be better at letting go and choosing our possessions more
wisely. </b></span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><b><span style="color: #660000;">Habit #2 - I'm counting my blessings</span></b></span>.<br />
33 a
day. It's not my idea, but it's a wonderful one, isn't it? Ann Voskamp
has upped the blessing-counting ante this month. If you haven't read
her book, <a href="http://www.aholyexperience.com/one-thousand-gifts-book/">One Thousand Gifts</a>, it is one of my top 10 to recommend -
ever. This year <a href="http://instagram.com/p/u31vongKHv/">Ann is inviting us to count 1000 blessings in one month</a>
- that's 33 a day! So, I'm in. Riding the falls of grace full speed.
I write at the end of the day. Type them in a Word Doc. I can count
them throughout the day and then <span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: #660000;"><b>at the end of the day, I sit and wrap
them up at night, thanking God for the goodnesses I saw - His
fingerprints all over my day</b></span></span>.<br />
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<br />
It's the month of
gratitude. What better month to count blessings? You may have missed a
day or two of this collaborative celebration of goodness, but you are
welcome to hop in now. <span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: #660000;"><b>Do it however it fits you</b></span></span>. Carry a little pad of
paper around with you; get your family to count at supper or bedtime;
write them in your IPhone; document them at night. If you can't get 33,
don't give up. Just keep on counting. Count the goodness. Fix your
eyes on all God is laying before you - His lavish goodness poured out on
us in little morsels throughout the day.<br />
<br />
Here's
what I hope will happen from this habit: It's a given that counting our
blessings makes us see more of the positive - <span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: #660000;"><b>be more aware of the
goodness of the Giver.</b></span></span> I hope this habit lifts my eyes and fuels
contentment with what is. You know how complaining highlights what we
lack? Counting blessings causes us to see the good inside what even
could be cause for complaining. I am trusting that I will grow nearer
to God as I turn to Him in gratitude. <br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><b><span style="color: #660000;">Habit #3 - I'm pausing. </span></b></span> <br />
I'm building in space during this season where it seems someone puts a brick on the gas pedal and lets it run full throttle through January 1st. It's hard enough to slow during the non-crammed months of the year. Yet, <span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: #660000;"><b>in these months of November and December it is all the more important to set aside time to refresh and connect with God</b></span></span>. I'm building in time to read books that remind me of what is vital. I'm reading <a href="https://www.facebook.com/heartshomeward">Finding Spiritual Whitespace</a> by the sweet and courageous, Bonnie Gray. I'm going through it with a friend as we answer the self-reflective questions and follow the suggestions for making space for rest, confiding to and abiding in God.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh_dmdyiAj11h_8P4ES7YQiqa6PqbenCrbeHmggdv81Csn4tpFc0UnlCFWhJIwj9VyqK0A45Rnkbnyx1v2PKojY3faS67OahB9gpMmaHBkvyOv-6AVZWqmSjdanzEINjpi3VNfbveT489E/s1600/Confide+and+Abide.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh_dmdyiAj11h_8P4ES7YQiqa6PqbenCrbeHmggdv81Csn4tpFc0UnlCFWhJIwj9VyqK0A45Rnkbnyx1v2PKojY3faS67OahB9gpMmaHBkvyOv-6AVZWqmSjdanzEINjpi3VNfbveT489E/s1600/Confide+and+Abide.jpg" height="474" width="640" /></a></div>
<br />
I'm also reading "The Best Yes' which I mentioned above. <span style="color: #660000;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b>I'm finding such encouragement to refine my view of the purposes for which God has actually made me</b></span></span>. I am spending time considering what my "best yes" is and daily I run my choices through that simple filter. Part of the best yes for this frenetic season is rest. Rest is the place we reflect. Rest provides perspective. Rest is the home which allows us to go out well. Finding rest in Jesus is part of my best yes these days.<br />
<br />
I'm reading fluff. I'm reading some books that are fiction intended for teens. I sit with a cup of tea and a cozy blanket {Hallelujah, it is fall!} and I read something somewhat delightful and very escapist. <span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: #660000;"><b>We all need a little place of retreat that isn't serious, self-reflective and requires no agenda or performance</b></span></span>. This time every once or twice a week is my haven and it gives me refreshment in needful ways.<br />
<br />
So, how about you? Will you join me in one or all of these habits? I would love if you come along and come back here or to <a href="https://www.facebook.com/heartshomeward">our Facebook Hearts Homeward page</a> and share your experience as you make November intentional, less cluttered, more grateful and deeply connected to Jesus. Pattyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14854370464356325974noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3345217407843497124.post-72619565582174602292014-10-30T07:53:00.003-07:002014-11-08T23:57:27.586-08:00Day 21: Lean on Me ... A Gentle Spirit<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Edwardian Script ITC"; font-size: 28.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Welcome<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></b><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">to <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Day 21</b> <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">of Parenting Pointers
and Mommy Refreshers</b>.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></i></div>
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">My heart longs to bless you this
month as I write 31 days filled with nuggets of parenting wisdom.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Each one is followed by a refresher to help
you fix your eyes on Jesus and let your burdens go to Him.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Sit with God in this moment.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Find a place where you can breathe and hear
from Him.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></i></div>
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<br /></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Edwardian Script ITC"; font-size: 28.0pt; line-height: 115%;">~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~</span></b></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Edwardian Script ITC"; font-size: 28.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Today’s
Parenting Pointer</span></b></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: 18.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Lean On Me</span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Our family
loves to go to the Central Coast of California.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>My husband grew up along the Los Angeles beaches and he is somewhat like
a St. Bernard when they go back into the snow.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>This otherwise lethargic dog bounds and frolics – literally comes to
life once it is head deep in drifts of winter downfall.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My husband isn’t lethargic, but you get him
near the ocean and something dormant awakens and he is vibrant and energized
while simultaneously given a deeper sense of peace.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">On our
regular trips to the coast we often go out on the piers.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Piers amaze me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Have you ever stopped to consider the way
that hundreds of people can tromp up and down on these wooden planks, held up
by wooden columns which are submerged in water?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I mean, why don’t they just float away?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Why don’t they sink or shift?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>These piers are taken for granted and trusted as we jut out into the
water, absorb beauty and feel the saltwater mist on our skin.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: #660000;"><b>They stand because they are well
supported</b></span></span>.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I think I am
a bit like that pier.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’m not made of
much, though I may look strong to most onlookers.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Yet, I can stand through storm and wear and
even support many others because I, myself, am well supported.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The deepest support, the anchor and footing
of my life is Jesus.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: #660000;"><b>Because I find
myself secretly secure in the deepest unseen places in Him, I can stand</b></span></span>.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Beyond Him, though, I need other supports –
those posts on the pier which lift it up and allow it to do all it has to do.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>God provides certain relationships in life
that are just like those pillars – upon which we can lay our burdens and trust
that because we are loved and encouraged, we will stand.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
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<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">When I was
little my mother used to tell me, “If you can count your true friends on one
hand you will be blessed.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She may have
been at least partly correct.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>What I do
know is we can’t spread ourselves too thin and still maintain quality
connections with those who matter deeply to us.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>We are finite people with limitations in time, energy and capacity to
invest.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: #660000;"><b>We must choose our friendships
wisely and cultivate them well</b></span></span>.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
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<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I used to be
prone to try to carry burdens on my own.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I might tell you about a struggle I had faced once it was in my rear
view mirror and I was through the worst of it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>To let you in on the pain and messiness of my current struggles was just
too vulnerable.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Over the years, though,
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: #660000;"><b>God has brought some very faithful friends into my life who are burden bearers
and encouragers</b></span></span>.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’d write a whole blog
post about each one of them if I could (and I did write about how to discern
and cultivate friendship here).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
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<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">No matter
how efficient your life is, you still will find yourself in need of
others.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Blessings and burdens come into
every life and they don’t come on demand or schedule.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You can be sailing along seamlessly when a
crisis unexpectedly blindsides you.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Maybe you aren’t facing a personal calamity, but the day to day demands
of your life are just pressing down hard.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>You are trying to keep your head above water, treading all alone, hoping
no one notices you might drown any minute.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Look around.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Can you see the
potential outstretched hands, willing to throw you a life saver and help
relieve you of your burden?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They are
there.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="color: #660000;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b>But you must risk being
vulnerable, known and not having it all together</b></span></span>.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You have to reach out.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">This is a
process – this growing into interdependence.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>God ordained His body to work like, well, a body.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Each part plays its own role and we depend
upon one another.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We impact one
another.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We are interconnected.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: #660000;"><b>Do you live an interconnected, interdependent
life</b></span></span>?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Or, do you, like so many modern
moms, have an isolated life with spurts into social settings where you show off
the goodness (cleaning up your home to have others over, making sure your kids
are acting the way you want, hoping your guests don’t peek in your closets and see the
mess you shoved away before they got there)?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I’m not saying your life needs to be an open book to all who are near –
not everyone is a safe person.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But, you
do need those few friends who know you as you are and love you in the midst of
your real day-to-day life.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Make time for
them.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Share your down moments, your
fears and your hopes with them.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Let them
make you supper or take your kids to give you a break.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Build and invest in these friendships.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Live a life supported – like those piers we
love to visit – and you will be equipped to support others in turn.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
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<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Edwardian Script ITC"; font-size: 28.0pt; line-height: 115%;">~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~</span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Edwardian Script ITC"; font-size: 28.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Be
Refreshed</span></b></div>
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<br /></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: 18.0pt; line-height: 115%;">A Gentle Spirit</span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
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<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-style: italic;">I’m part Irish, part German and a bunch of other European nationalities
mixed in.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That Irish temper has been a
famed thing in my family.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Maybe it is
just one more legend from the land of leprechauns and the blarney stone, but
one thing I know is I come by my feisty spirit honestly.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-style: italic;">In Philippians, God tells us, </span></div>
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<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-style: italic;"><i><b><span style="font-size: large;">Let your gentle spirit be known to all men. The Lord is near</span></b></i>.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-style: italic;">I hear that, and I look around, behind me, over my shoulder and then
back.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“Me, Lord?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Let MY gentle spirit be known?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You’ve got the wrong gal.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’m the feisty Irish girl who knows her own
mind.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Gentleness isn’t really my forte.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-style: italic;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b><span style="color: #660000;">As in all things, the Lord calls us to what He is doing in us</span></b></span>.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He called John, his disciple and in the
beginning John was known as a “son of thunder” (now we’re talking) as he asked
the Lord to annihilate a whole village for not welcoming them.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But, in due season he was called “the
disciple of love.” His self-perception even changed so that he could say of
himself, “the disciple whom Jesus loved.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>He became permeated by love and was transformed into a vessel of
love.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So it is with us.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When we hang out in the presence of Jesus, we
experience the conversion of our souls.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>We claim Him as Lord and we say we are “Christians” (little Christs) but
it actually takes a lifetime to become a Christian as we walk with Him and
allow Him to morph us into His image.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
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<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-style: italic;">Gentleness.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>God talks about our
gentle spirit in the midst of this passage which is to tell us about how to
release anxiety.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We have just been told
to rejoice in the Lord always – to always find our joy in Him at all times and
in all occasions.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: #660000;"><b>Now we are told to let
our gentle spirit be evident to all. </b></span></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-style: italic;">The particular word used for “gentleness” in this passage is only used
five times in the New Testament.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It is
contrasted to brawling and compared to being patient in the face of things that
would draw out addiction or anger in us.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>It is likened to being meek, peaceable, reverent and full of mercy.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>God will draw this quality out in each of
us.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Why? <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Because He is near.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He doesn’t send us out – “Go be gentle.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="font-size: large;"><b><span style="color: #660000;">He says, “Come near. You can be gentle because I am near.” </span></b></span></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEig_AOeC-bQMVi25NdelYeYYPpgbPv0ETF1V9Ht303T6av6KBgejSbfwQ_1Um6euUgAHzAihRr-YhimUZA5cG4mb6UVMDH1q7yjMOmnmdIYUoX8blCaNKTiEFCnTRvxf692U-ItrOib3lY/s1600/god+is+near.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEig_AOeC-bQMVi25NdelYeYYPpgbPv0ETF1V9Ht303T6av6KBgejSbfwQ_1Um6euUgAHzAihRr-YhimUZA5cG4mb6UVMDH1q7yjMOmnmdIYUoX8blCaNKTiEFCnTRvxf692U-ItrOib3lY/s1600/god+is+near.jpg" height="640" width="434" /></a></div>
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<div class="MsoNormal">
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<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-style: italic;">When I was little and afraid of something, I wanted my daddy near
me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I wanted to go to him and stand near
to him so that I knew that whatever was bigger than me had to contend with him
before it could ever touch me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In the
safety of our Father we can be gentle.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Gentleness involves being vulnerable.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>If we feel we are standing under our own care and protection, gentleness
will not be possible.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We have to be on
guard when we rely on ourselves.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: #660000;"><b>When we
know God is near we can let our gentleness be evident. We are safe in His presence</b></span></span>.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He is gentle.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>He says so and He proves His gentleness to us.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He will cultivate a gentle heart in you as
you draw near to Him, knowing He is near to you today.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Allow Him to touch your heart in this moment
and call out gentleness that says, “I am safe.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I trust.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>God is with me.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Edwardian Script ITC"; font-size: 28.0pt; line-height: 115%;">~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~</span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I pray you found a breath of fresh
air here and a moment to reflect and recharge your battery.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If you have missed any of this series, all
the posts can be found <a href="http://heartshomeward.blogspot.com/p/31-days-of-mommy-refreshers.html">here</a>.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Come back
any or every day this month to get another Parenting Pointer and Mommy
Refresher.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And, as always, I do love
hearing from you.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Let me know how I can
pray for you or if something I wrote here touched you.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></i><span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;"></span></div>
Pattyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14854370464356325974noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3345217407843497124.post-24803232056199240532014-10-27T23:49:00.001-07:002014-10-27T23:49:33.986-07:00Day 20: Taming Tantrums ... Rejoice in the Lord<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Edwardian Script ITC"; font-size: 28.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Welcome<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></b><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">to <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Day 20</b> <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">of Parenting Pointers
and Mommy Refreshers</b>.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">My heart longs to bless you this
month as I write 31 days filled with nuggets of parenting wisdom.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Each one is followed by a refresher to help
you fix your eyes on Jesus and let your burdens go to Him.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Sit with God in this moment.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Find a place where you can breathe and hear
from Him.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Edwardian Script ITC"; font-size: 28.0pt; line-height: 115%;">~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~</span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Edwardian Script ITC"; font-size: 28.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Today’s
Parenting Pointer</span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: 18.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Taming Tantrums</span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">You may
wonder why I waited until day 20 to share the secret of taming tantrums with
you.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: #660000;"><b>If any of you have been a parent
for more than a year, my bet is you have experienced a full blown tantrum</b></span></span> (um,
your child’s, I mean).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>These emotional
outbursts don’t necessarily end after the “terrible” twos.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They morph into more refined forms, but
still, a teen can throw their version of the tantrum by pouting, slamming a
door or just sitting around muttering “no fair.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">No matter
the age of your child, a tantrum is your child’s way of saying, “I don’t like the
answer I got and I am going to let you know how much!” or “I want my way and I
won’t quit until I get it!”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I am sitting
here wondering all the things you may have tried to redirect or discipline your
children in the middle of a tantrum to try to get them to stop.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I want to remind you of the posts I wrote on
days <a href="http://heartshomeward.blogspot.com/2014/10/day-3-i-love-you-this-much-god-delights.html">three</a>, <a href="http://heartshomeward.blogspot.com/2014/10/day-4-beating-boredom-uniquely-you.html">four</a>, <a href="http://heartshomeward.blogspot.com/2014/10/day-5-building-confidence-in-our.html">five</a> and <a href="http://heartshomeward.blogspot.com/2014/10/day-6-giving-children-worth-seeking-god.html">six</a> of this series which cover the basic emotional
needs of a child.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="font-size: large;"><b><span style="color: #660000;">When their needs are
met, children are far less likely to have any misbehavior including the famed
tantrum</span></b></span>.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi3f_2kJn8b_603TwcxTuODrhKgw0mR4H46T0fdu2id3lEApwvO05HuSxMwHO0KAMNZDBm_U_DsO7a2lgfcL_GLo-rpYKoRnF-rpLX7zlY3cYOsbEsQhtFi-t9cNn6pacaBDnaEE5hR234/s1600/You+are+Loved.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi3f_2kJn8b_603TwcxTuODrhKgw0mR4H46T0fdu2id3lEApwvO05HuSxMwHO0KAMNZDBm_U_DsO7a2lgfcL_GLo-rpYKoRnF-rpLX7zlY3cYOsbEsQhtFi-t9cNn6pacaBDnaEE5hR234/s1600/You+are+Loved.jpg" height="552" width="640" /></a></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Let’s say
you have met your child’s basic needs to feel loved, to have constructive
activity, to feel confident and to feel a sense of worth and they still are
wailing like a tug boat all the way through the supermarket about the treat
they tried to grab off the shelf while you said, “no” and wheeled on at the
pace of an Indy 500 driver.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You want to
borrow a bag from the checker just to discretely wear on your head as you get
the last few items you need and skedaddle out of the store knowing in this
moment to all the onlookers you are “that mom.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">That is what
we will call a “public tantrum.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I
handle these a bit differently than I do the private tantrum (at home).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: #660000;"><b>When my children and I are about to enter a
situation which I know will cause some form of temptation to come their way and
in the process we could end up with a scene on our hands, I talk them through
what to expect before we even enter the store</b></span></span>.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I say something like, “You know we are going in to get only what is on
our list.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I expect you to be helpers and
the more help you give, the sooner we will get out of the store, then we can get
home and you can play with your friends (or whatever they are looking forward
to after the trip).”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I have been
foolish enough, for example, to take my then four-year-old shopping after we
had a long week and were out at a park all morning.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He had a meltdown in the smallest store in our
town right when two moms I knew just happened to be stopping there to get their
weekly groceries.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He was beyond the pale
and I was holding him trying to keep him from flailing items off the shelves.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>What I had to do was abandon my cart and just
go to the back of the store where they have a little waiting area with chairs
outside the restroom.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We sat together
and I held him until he calmed and we were able to resume shopping.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In this situation, I couldn’t do what I do when
one of my children is having a “private” tantrum in the comfort of our own home.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: #660000;"><b>I had to consider the other people around us
and the immediate need to help my son regain composure.<span> </span></b></span></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">When we are
home, I respond to tantrums totally differently.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I ignore them.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There is a fancy word psychologists use
called “extinction” which means you make a behavior go away by not paying any
attention to it or rewarding it in any way.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>You will be amazed at how extinction works to eliminate tantrums (at any
age).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: #660000;"><b>When tantrums no longer get a
pay-off, your child will realize that they are wasting their effort and they
will just peter out and stop</b></span></span>.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Of course,
tantrums are different from crying from hurt, fear or sadness.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Those feelings call for our mother heart to
give comfort and care.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But, when a child
is just plain throwing a fit, the best thing we can do is to let it run its
course and not give in.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjtiD5Pr5UCGoH1lSA636QH6ju57eWQXuwwPXwc-7bdXsozNI2HUCBcz-qUdcYLI1XWvcfzaq7OlHJb90eqzA3XQTLJsH8NhXlC18gQQpod_zlTrNPeAsEQLh591Akz8HGY-WfXr9iKOiw/s1600/Ignore+the+Tantrum.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjtiD5Pr5UCGoH1lSA636QH6ju57eWQXuwwPXwc-7bdXsozNI2HUCBcz-qUdcYLI1XWvcfzaq7OlHJb90eqzA3XQTLJsH8NhXlC18gQQpod_zlTrNPeAsEQLh591Akz8HGY-WfXr9iKOiw/s1600/Ignore+the+Tantrum.jpg" height="372" width="640" /></a></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">What I have
done, to be fair to my boys, is to tell them in advance that I just won’t
answer or respond to tantrums.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: #660000;"><b>I tell them I will talk with them when they are calm.</b></span></span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Fits don’t fly.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>For those of you
new to this ignoring thing, it is not for the faint of heart.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You will want to do something, but you have
to hold on.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Your child will unfortunately
get louder and more intense before they give up.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But, when they see that you mean what you
say, and that you aren’t going to answer them while they are in the throes of a
tantrum, they will get through it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Keep
in mind that you are teaching them how to go about responding to situations
that don’t go their way.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="color: #660000;"><b><span style="font-size: large;">And remember,
do remember, we aren’t talking about ignoring your children’s needs or their
emotions</span></b></span>.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We are ignoring their fit so
they can learn to express themselves in more appropriate ways.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Once they are calm, you can go to them,
comfort them and help them talk about what was upsetting them.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Edwardian Script ITC"; font-size: 28.0pt; line-height: 115%;">~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~</span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Edwardian Script ITC"; font-size: 28.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Be
Refreshed</span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: 18.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Rejoice in the Lord</span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Over the
next five days I want to talk to you about a very helpful portion of
Scripture.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Philippians – the book of joy
with a prescription for how to handle anxiety right in the middle.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Paul gives us amazing encouragement in the 4<sup>th</sup>
chapter of Philippians and <span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: #660000;"><b>I want to break it down so we can savor it and work
it into our day to day lives</b></span></span>.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I need
this as much as you.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<i><span style="font-size: large;"><b><span style="line-height: 115%;">“Rejoice in
the Lord, always, again I say rejoice.”</span></b></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">What a
statement.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We could breeze by it like we
do when someone sees us on the street and says, “Hi, how are you?” and we say, “Fine,”
and keep walking.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Fine.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Rejoice in the Lord.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Always.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Check.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Wait, wait, wait.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Let’s look at this a moment.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>God, through Paul, is inviting us to find joy
in Him.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Another translation of the word,
<i>chairō</i><span style="mso-bidi-font-style: italic;"> is to thrive.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="color: #660000;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b>Isn’t it amazing that as we find our joy in
Him, we simultaneously thrive!<span> </span></b></span></span></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
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<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-style: italic;">Let’s take this the other direction.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: #660000;"><b>What do you try to find your joy in?</b></span></span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>In yourself?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In a
relationship?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In your children?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In money, your home, a hobby, your church, in
chocolate (I hear you)?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>All those things
bring goodness and God is for that.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But,
truly, when we don’t find our joy in Him, we aren’t going to find real joy
anywhere else on earth.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>All things
outside of Him fall flat in the joy department.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Yet, when we find our joy in Him we can enjoy all other things as gifts
from Him.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-style: italic;">And, then there is this little word in the middle of that verse –
always.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Always.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>At all times we are to find our joy in the
Lord.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I know there are times we are
surprised by joy or when joy is right there because the circumstances are in
our favor.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>What about when things just
stink and we are gasping for sanity?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>What about when our emotions tell us there isn’t much hope and God seems
light years away?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>What about when
someone betrays us or we lose a relationship?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>What about in tragedy?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Always is
a tall order.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I have a friend that told
me the cup isn’t half-empty or half-full – from God’s perspective it is full to
overflowing and <span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: #660000;"><b>we just have to trust that goodness when we can’t tangibly feel
it.</b></span></span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgBdCoT0JcXvZSxGexwwMoLib2xLV9OZguYa1O7TFKzWQuVGKh6a3P7rLWijbmydbJXVbeZHd1wms0yGd_CRFMESdhL3WqSuh3nDSGlx6m9PDykvqwUcDrJIqgQAOYsWYTiqDp0iKgj20U/s1600/Find+your+joy.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgBdCoT0JcXvZSxGexwwMoLib2xLV9OZguYa1O7TFKzWQuVGKh6a3P7rLWijbmydbJXVbeZHd1wms0yGd_CRFMESdhL3WqSuh3nDSGlx6m9PDykvqwUcDrJIqgQAOYsWYTiqDp0iKgj20U/s1600/Find+your+joy.jpg" height="372" width="640" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-style: italic;"> So, let’s not breeze by this important introduction to this portion of
scripture.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Let’s marinate in it a
while.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Let’s make a point this day, even
for the whole week, even as a lifelong habit, to find our joy in Jesus – always
– even when the kids are fighting, the laundry is piling up, we have more to dos
than days in the week and we feel like something is going to burst.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: #660000;"><b>Let’s find our joy in Him because only there
can it truly be found</b></span></span>.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><i><b><span style="color: #660000;"><span style="font-size: large;"> </span></span></b></i></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-style: italic;"><i><b><span style="color: #660000;"><span style="font-size: large;">Always</span></span></b></i>.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Edwardian Script ITC"; font-size: 28.0pt; line-height: 115%;">~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~</span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I pray you found a breath of fresh
air here and a moment to reflect and recharge your battery.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If you have missed any of this series, all
the posts can be found <a href="http://heartshomeward.blogspot.com/p/31-days-of-mommy-refreshers.html">here</a>.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Come back
any or every day this month to get another Parenting Pointer and Mommy Refresher.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And, as always, I do love hearing from
you.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Let me know how I can pray for you
or if something I wrote here touched you.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span></span></i><span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;"></span></div>
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<br /></div>
Pattyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14854370464356325974noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3345217407843497124.post-39704969071953024042014-10-26T18:04:00.000-07:002014-10-27T23:55:37.134-07:00Day 19: Curled Up with a Good Book ... Not so Small<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<![endif]--><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Edwardian Script ITC"; font-size: 28.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Welcome<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></b><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">to <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Day 19</b> <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">of Parenting Pointers
and Mommy Refreshers</b>.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">My heart longs to bless you this
month as I write 31 days filled with nuggets of parenting wisdom.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Each one is followed by a refresher to help
you fix your eyes on Jesus and let your burdens go to Him.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Sit with God in this moment.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Find a place where you can breathe and hear
from Him.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Edwardian Script ITC"; font-size: 28.0pt; line-height: 115%;">~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~</span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Edwardian Script ITC"; font-size: 28.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Today’s
Parenting Pointer</span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: 18.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Curled Up with a Good Book</span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Spend a bit
of time with me and you’ll hear my philosophy about children being exposed to
too many screens.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s not that screens
are bad.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They provide such a wonderful opportunity
to access many things we otherwise could not.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>But.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There is a “but” in this …
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: #660000;"><b>we have to choose well, set healthy limits, and supervise access</b></span></span>.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Easier said than done – as it is so much
easier to plug something in and sit them in front of it when we want that
well-earned break.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">All that
being said, I want to remind you of what you already know.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Books are amazing.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="font-size: large;"><b><span style="color: #660000;">Open a book and you open a world</span></b></span>.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Lead a child to love reading and you spark
their imagination, their creativity while introducing them to the portal for
knowledge that has no limit in depth and breadth.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We just never will run out of good books to
read.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjgipLYADafT_ljezltw1ChyRTZaubCkBpmqiBVoGWINAXfnP6PKfjSLhKP5Bx7or85E9Iy37o9cD_d8q1fVVeABDeBlB_wQWOU1C-XwWIF-dmENteO_mgO9_iBlqFgY39OAdlrkCtCW1U/s1600/open+a+book.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjgipLYADafT_ljezltw1ChyRTZaubCkBpmqiBVoGWINAXfnP6PKfjSLhKP5Bx7or85E9Iy37o9cD_d8q1fVVeABDeBlB_wQWOU1C-XwWIF-dmENteO_mgO9_iBlqFgY39OAdlrkCtCW1U/s1600/open+a+book.jpg" height="372" width="640" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br />
<a name='more'></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">My husband was
raised in a home with a bunch of readers.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>They all loved books and would curl up in their separate corners of the
home with their respective novels.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The
problem for him was that no one really read to him, so he didn’t develop a love
of reading.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>To him reading was a way
people put up walls.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In my home, we read
together.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My parents read me bedtime
stories, we read books together my whole childhood and we discussed what we
read together.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: #660000;"><b>In my home books were a
bridge.</b></span></span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><i><b><span style="line-height: 115%;">I love reading. Love. </span></b></i></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Here are
some of the benefits I have seen from reading to my children consistently at
all ages:</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
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<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 0.25in;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><i><b><span style="line-height: 115%;">My children love to read.</span></b></i></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .75in;">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">This may seem obvious, but reading to my children has sparked
in them a desire to enter into books themselves.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: #660000;"><b>We love sitting together doing a “read-aloud”</b></span></span>
(where I read and they listen).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>During
one season of my older son’s life, he sort-of lost his passion for
reading.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I prayed God would revive that passion
and then I sought out other moms for lists of books their sons loved.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Armed with this list and powered by prayer, I
started presenting books to my son again.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>There have been days I wondered why I ever prayed that prayer – when my
son has his head stuck in a book and I have to call him two to three times just
to get his attention out from within those pages.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Truthfully, this is a problem I am glad to
have.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraph">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .25in;">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-size: large;"><i><b>Good books teach moral lessons.</b></i></span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .75in;">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I found this amazing book when my oldest was little called, “Books
that Build Character” which has a 60 page intro about why books are vital to character
development and how screen exposure is detrimental.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Then the list of books with a synopsis for
each book, broken down by ages recommended and genre of the book follows.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That book has been my go-to book list along
with sites such as <a href="http://www.sonlight.com/">Sonlight</a>, <a href="http://lamplighter.net/c/">Lamplighter</a>, <a href="http://bfbooks.com/">Beautiful Feet</a> and the <a href="http://www.ala.org/alsc/awardsgrants/bookmedia/newberymedal/newberyhonors/newberymedal">Newberry Awardsite</a>.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="font-size: large;"><b><span style="color: #660000;">As we read through stories about
historical biographies or fiction or novels where the hero has to make a
decision to do what is right, my children internalize and solidify their own set
of values</span></b></span>.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraph">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 0.25in;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><i><b><span style="line-height: 115%;">We share common stories and these become part of our story.</span></b></i></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .75in;">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">We love reading together.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>We do read separately, but some of our favorite memories are the books
we have shared.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We read together after
lunch and before bedtime as well as several other choice times in the
week.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We read under the trees in the
back yard or all sprawled out on couches in the living room.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We read in my bedroom – the boys snuggled
together in my bed while I am in my oversized green chair.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: #660000;"><b>It never ceases to amaze me how my boys will
refer back to a part of a story long after we have set it aside</b></span></span> – as though we all lived
through that story together.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“Hey, Mom,”
they say, “That reminds me of …”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Shared
stories bind hearts together.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraph">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .25in;">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-size: large;"><i><b>I get to practice all the accents I never use in real
life.</b></i></span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"><span style="font-size: large;"><i><b> </b></i></span> </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .75in;">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Ok, this may totally not apply to you.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You may be one of those people who doesn’t
even enjoy reading aloud.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But, for me
personally, I just love playing around with accents – French, British,
Japanese, Italian, Spanish, Southern, New York, Canadian, The Godfather … you name it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So, when we read stories, if they are set in
other places, I give characters an accent and I go with it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My boys love this part of my read-alouds {and
I do too}.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Whether you make books come
alive with accents or you just tear up at the end of every book from <i>Roll of
Thunder Hear My Cry </i>to <i>Charlotte’s Web</i> {As my boys say, “We must be at the end of the book, Mom’s
starting to cry.”}, <span style="font-size: large;"><b><span style="color: #660000;">there will be something of you that you bring into reading to your children</span></b></span>.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They will take that
something with them their whole lives and cherish it as a part of what made
childhood special.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> When you read to your children, you aren't just giving them a story. </span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">You are giving them yourself.</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraph">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">So, turn off the TV, the IPod, the Xbox … not always and not
forever, but regularly enough that you can pull out a good book and read.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Read together.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You are building character, etching memories
and unlocking whole other worlds with your children as you do.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span>
<br />
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast" style="margin-left: 0in; mso-add-space: auto;">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"></span><span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Edwardian Script ITC"; font-size: 28.0pt; line-height: 115%;">~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~</span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Edwardian Script ITC"; font-size: 28.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Be
Refreshed</span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: 18.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Not so Small</span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Do you ever
feel a bit small – like your life doesn’t amount to much and the day to day
events in your life are more hum-drum than amazing?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Invisible measuring sticks reside in our
hearts and we use them to say to ourselves, “Insignificant.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I have
struggled with this feeling on and off in my life – coupled with the feeling
that <span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: #660000;"><b>I want to do more, be more, make an impact, do something that
matters</b></span></span>.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Sometimes those feelings fuel
me into great efforts which have led to some big things happening.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Sometimes they threaten to paralyze me as the
longing taunts me and makes me weary before I have even set out to accomplish
one thing.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">What is
big?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When I was a little girl, I remember
watching Sesame Street before it got all modern and trendy – you know, when the
kids didn’t comb their hair and everyone wore bell bottoms and scarves in their
hair because it was the 70’s.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Anyway,
they used to have this song, “<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZGLKhP_32xA">That’s about the size, that’s about the size, that’s about the size of it. That’s about the size, where you put your eyes, that’s about the size of it</a>.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The
song taught about perspective.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Things
appear smaller from far away.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Get too
close and they seem almost indistinguishable because of the proximity.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: #660000;"><b>So it is with our perspective on our own
significance and what really matters in life</b></span></span>. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I often (who
knows why) think of Nancy Reagan.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I
remember her for something that most people may not.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="font-size: large;"><b><span style="color: #660000;">She was a completely devoted wife</span></b></span>.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In her life, she launched campaigns to help
stop addiction and provide treatment options to those stuck in chemical dependence.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She did “big” things.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>As her husband, President Reagan, began to succumb
to the disease of Alzheimer’s he was less and less able to recognize her until
he finally did not know her at all.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Despite this, Nancy remained faithfully by his side day in and day out,
watching her beloved husband slip away.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>She did a small thing.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Was it so
small?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgaLxDuhyphenhyphenCOoHDRlmJ7TSiEdzcbdRuf4DFGdzl1HaHad3kl9QdL3AQfolIt-C5mpiOjxIglahS9far8tNefwaRVoL227-_5YwTX0n2GGMflEVLu1yeZV3pGuujdClMuWPs1ZssMKzf1TCU/s1600/Do+small+things.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgaLxDuhyphenhyphenCOoHDRlmJ7TSiEdzcbdRuf4DFGdzl1HaHad3kl9QdL3AQfolIt-C5mpiOjxIglahS9far8tNefwaRVoL227-_5YwTX0n2GGMflEVLu1yeZV3pGuujdClMuWPs1ZssMKzf1TCU/s1600/Do+small+things.jpg" height="226" width="640" /></a></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Mother
Theresa {another hero of mine} said, “<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: #660000;"><b>We can do no great things, only small
things with great love</b></span></span>.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So it is.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Jesus said, “So do not fear; you are more
valuable than many sparrows.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You are so
valuable to the God of the Universes … and those little things you do – like listening
to your husband when he comes home from work, sitting with your children while
they struggle through an assignment, tying a shoelace, cleaning around the
toilet, making a bed, calling a friend, saying a prayer for that request you
got in the email …” – may not be so little after all.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In God’s economy whatever we do in Him, for
Him and with Him is great.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">So take that
internal measuring stick and toss it out.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">God doesn’t measure the way we do.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="color: #660000;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b>Do small
things with great love. You matter
big.</b></span></span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Edwardian Script ITC"; font-size: 28.0pt; line-height: 115%;">~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~</span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I pray you found a breath of fresh
air here and a moment to reflect and recharge your battery.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If you have missed any of this series, all
the posts can be found <a href="http://heartshomeward.blogspot.com/p/31-days-of-mommy-refreshers.html">here</a>.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Come back
any or every day this month to get another Parenting Pointer and Mommy
Refresher.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And, as always, I do love
hearing from you.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Let me know how I can
pray for you or if something I wrote here touched you.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></i><span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;"></span></div>
Pattyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14854370464356325974noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3345217407843497124.post-81745437161769165812014-10-23T23:27:00.002-07:002014-10-27T23:55:59.310-07:00Day 18: A Welcome Mat ... Living Waters<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Edwardian Script ITC"; font-size: 28.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Welcome<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></b><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">to <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Day 18</b> <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">of Parenting Pointers
and Mommy Refreshers</b>.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">My heart longs to bless you this
month as I write 31 days filled with nuggets of parenting wisdom.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Each one is followed by a refresher to help
you fix your eyes on Jesus and let your burdens go to Him.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Sit with God in this moment.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Find a place where you can breathe and hear
from Him.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Edwardian Script ITC"; font-size: 28.0pt; line-height: 115%;">~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~</span></b></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Edwardian Script ITC"; font-size: 28.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Today’s
Parenting Pointer</span></b></div>
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<br /></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: 18.0pt; line-height: 115%;">The Welcome Mat</span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Growing up
there was this commercial about Kool Aid and the upshot was that there was a
mom in every neighborhood who was called “the Kool Aid Mom.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She was the one who served “Kool” snacks and
all the kids flocked to her home for the welcome (and treats) they got
there.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">So many of
us want to be the Kool Aid mom.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We long
for our children to want to be at home and to invite their friends to our house
to play.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I have friends who have built
an entire playhouse (800 sq ft) in their back yard, complete with air
conditioning, a concrete foundation, window boxes, a spiral staircase and a
doorbell on the dutch door.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“Kids will
want to come play here,” my friend told me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Seriously, I wanted to play there – or at least take a personal retreat
there for a weekend! </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg2cN9x8xJpSwdQHhbOFZigMm0Gc-ZtsQN4tTnIEHujaizHWFuWF_-YGAXr6GLQJG6vc-cD95OVuQdh5ywXwmRQkrUPY1kPF2cWd9cP41lpOD-DWvOQyuHSOIjYTVuVAd_BaSI9bePQ4fQ/s1600/Welcome.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg2cN9x8xJpSwdQHhbOFZigMm0Gc-ZtsQN4tTnIEHujaizHWFuWF_-YGAXr6GLQJG6vc-cD95OVuQdh5ywXwmRQkrUPY1kPF2cWd9cP41lpOD-DWvOQyuHSOIjYTVuVAd_BaSI9bePQ4fQ/s1600/Welcome.jpg" height="268" width="640" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;"></span><br />
<a name='more'></a></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">We have to
be careful as we extend hospitality to our children’s friends.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We need to remain authentic (for one thing
kids see right through all pretense).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We
also need to be sure that we are inviting children into our home and our kids’
lives who are the ones with whom we want them to become closer.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>With my children I’ve developed a 5:1
rule.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Five times with children who have
good moral character to every one time with those who are more rough around the
edges.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I know kids will be kids, but
some families don’t prioritize moral values and don’t expect their children to
limit exposure to screens, use pleasant words or treat others kindly.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>As a result, if my boys are around those kids
too long or too often, I start to see residue on their hearts.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>God says, “Do not be deceived, bad company
corrupts good morals.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There’s no age
limit on that one.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Beyond
helping influence their pool of choices for friendships at an early age, we
also need to consider the importance friends play in our children’s lives.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My older son is more of a one to one
person.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He enjoys activities spent
intimately with a close friend way more than he enjoys being in a group.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He holds his own in a group when he needs to
and enjoys himself, but given his druthers he’d pick a quiet board game or a
bike ride with just one special friend.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>My second son is Mr. Social.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He
has never met a stranger and enjoys people so much.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He sees the best in others and loves drawing
people together and including them in what he enjoys.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>His personal motto could be, “the more the
merrier.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Knowing your children and
their social preferences helps you facilitate how you structure social
opportunities for them.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Most of all,
once your children have chosen friends who mean something to them, I fully
encourage you to make friends with their friends.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I don’t mean you have to be chummy with them,
but it helps if you aren’t aloof and unavailable.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I remember being a child and going to various
friends’ homes.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The moms who stopped
what they were doing and sat with us, even played a board game or sat in the
yard with us, were the ones I loved most.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Those were the homes I wanted to return to and hang out at. With my
boys, I get to know their friends by asking questions and listening when they
talk.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I make jokes with them and then I
do bake something or serve a snack of some sort.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Boys like food.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><br />
<br />
But one thing I know is that I could fail to feed their stomach and sit and
listen with interest, and they would still keep coming back because we all long
to matter to someone.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I watch my sons when
I am relating to one of their friends.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They
have a little glint in their eye.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They
love the fact that they get to share their friend with me and share me with
their friend.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>These days of motherhood
are breezing by.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Their friends become
naturally more important as they age.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Befriending their friends allows me to continue to be appropriately
connected to their world as it expands.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">You don’t
have to serve up the Kool Aid.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>All you
have to serve up is old-fashioned hospitality and your caring presence.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Edwardian Script ITC"; font-size: 28.0pt; line-height: 115%;">~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~</span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Edwardian Script ITC"; font-size: 28.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Be
Refreshed</span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: 18.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Living Waters</span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Jesus said, “If
anyone is thirsty, let him come to Me and drink.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He who believes in Me, as the Scripture said,
‘From his innermost being will flow rivers of living water.’”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Thirsty.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You know what it feels like to need water and
have none around.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The other day we were
visiting a friend at the coast for a few days.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I had bought lunch for all of us to eat at a park near her home.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We opened the water bottle I bought to share
with my sons and the whole thing was ice.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>There was a small amount of water and then nothing.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We had been at the park a while so we were
thirsty.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Suddenly our preoccupation
became cracking the ice, melting the ice, shaking the ice – to make water so that
we might not thirst.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Sometimes my
mothering soul feels just that thirsty.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I long for the refreshment of Jesus and His touch.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I long to be filled and thirst no more.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>What I do instead is sometimes harden up what
I have by staying busy or saying “yes” to too many things or letting the most
important priorities take a back seat rather than being sure I sit still and
connect with him.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>On those days I long
for the living water Jesus offers us.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Jesus met a
woman in Samaria at Jacob’s well.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He
asked her for a drink.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She asked Him, “why
are you asking me, a Samaritan?” to which He tells her, “if you knew the gift
of God and who it is who says to you, ‘give me a drink’ you would have asked Him
and He would have given you living water.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>He goes on to describe the water … “whoever drinks of the water I give
him shall never thirst; but the water that I will give him will become in him a
well of water springing up to eternal life.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Never
thirst.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>A well internal springing
eternal.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This is the gift of the Holy
Spirit given by Jesus to us who believe.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>We can have this living water – life in Him running deep and wide inside
our hearts and souls.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It is a promise to
us that we only need to believe and we will receive this inner life.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhKVuESzJHKA5T2S08s0Aa9Ao0l_n3rh1lrWVFVgajF7bga0WsUxuTy9feld323D6c8NgwQaT7ZqTDLAj5406XfwFFDzRzdSRAJsaZ_fhpAwi9VzY3PxHPEnXZpcl6unh2UrQ8nkkve87w/s1600/Living+Waters.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhKVuESzJHKA5T2S08s0Aa9Ao0l_n3rh1lrWVFVgajF7bga0WsUxuTy9feld323D6c8NgwQaT7ZqTDLAj5406XfwFFDzRzdSRAJsaZ_fhpAwi9VzY3PxHPEnXZpcl6unh2UrQ8nkkve87w/s1600/Living+Waters.jpg" height="286" width="640" /></a></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I know it
can feel abstract and seem we need to run away somewhere cloistered to receive
this gift and experience what Jesus calls us to in these statements of
His.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Yet God is more practical than
that.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He knows that we must raise our
children, fulfill obligations, connect in our community, support our
husbands.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He knows the demands which are
of high value and yet draw and quarter us and threaten to leave us very, very
thirsty.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He comes to you today, inviting
you as He did the woman – telling you to come and drink and be filled.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">What does
that filling look like for you in this day?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Is it sitting still in a quiet place?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Is it turning off the internet and turning on soothing music or just
taking a walk?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Is it taking a nap?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Is it calling a friend who will really listen
without trying to change you?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Is it
painting or drawing or writing?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">There is the
promise of His Spirit alive in us as we turn to Him, make space for Him and find
places to open to His touch.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>How will
you hold out your cup to Him in this day?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Come, find living water.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Edwardian Script ITC"; font-size: 28.0pt; line-height: 115%;">~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~</span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I pray you found a breath of fresh
air here and a moment to reflect and recharge your battery.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If you have missed any of this series, all
the posts can be found <a href="http://heartshomeward.blogspot.com/p/31-days-of-mommy-refreshers.html">here</a>.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Come back
any or every day this month to get another Parenting Pointer and Mommy Refresher.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And, as always, I do love hearing from
you.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Let me know how I can pray for you
or if something I wrote here touched you.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span></span></i><span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;"></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
Pattyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14854370464356325974noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3345217407843497124.post-57069932677358025722014-10-22T22:21:00.002-07:002014-10-27T23:56:15.951-07:00Day 17: Love Him ... A Quiet Space<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Edwardian Script ITC"; font-size: 28.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Welcome<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></b><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">to <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Day 17</b> <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">of Parenting Pointers
and Mommy Refreshers</b>.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></i></div>
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">My heart longs to bless you this
month as I write 31 days filled with nuggets of parenting wisdom.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Each one is followed by a refresher to help
you fix your eyes on Jesus and let your burdens go to Him.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Sit with God in this moment.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Find a place where you can breathe and hear
from Him.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></i></div>
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<br /></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Edwardian Script ITC"; font-size: 28.0pt; line-height: 115%;">~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~</span></b></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Edwardian Script ITC"; font-size: 28.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Today’s
Parenting Pointer</span></b></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: 18.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Love Him</span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">So many parenting pointers have to do with
what we do with our children, how we speak to them, how we respond to their
behavior and how we shape their character.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>This pointer is a bit different.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>It has to do with the backbone of our home.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Remember years ago – before you ever had
children?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It may seem like an entire
lifetime ago, but <span style="color: #660000;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b>this whole adventure started with you and your husband –
falling in love with one another</b></span></span>.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">It was
because of this love affair that you pledged your heart and life to this man
and in turn you had children together.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Provided you are one of the 50% of Americans who have remained married,
you are still living with the father of your children.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But, maybe you don’t feel the fire the way
you used to.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That is so normal.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If you have ever been camping, you buy a
bundle of wood from the camp host.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You
gather some kindling from around the campsite and you set it in the fire
pit.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You set a few logs on and the fire
gets going.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This how it is when we are dating.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>After a bit you add a few more logs and the
blaze is stronger than ever.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This is
like the early years of marriage.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEifFtENmEWbvXyMFrR4bystigxSu4eEDiWK35i-6dUK99d692FyGWOj9JnQe-c4-WuQ4qo3nYBPF1_0CVlwhNvhHcWp3YlMCjm8VclqFpILQWhbRxUrckF1Lll1_Gynpr9ddNY3QaDxgF0/s1600/campfire.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEifFtENmEWbvXyMFrR4bystigxSu4eEDiWK35i-6dUK99d692FyGWOj9JnQe-c4-WuQ4qo3nYBPF1_0CVlwhNvhHcWp3YlMCjm8VclqFpILQWhbRxUrckF1Lll1_Gynpr9ddNY3QaDxgF0/s1600/campfire.jpg" height="480" width="640" /></a></div>
<br />
<a name='more'></a><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">But,
as the night wears on, the fire dulls to a glow and though it still burns, it
isn’t full of high flames as it was.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: #660000;"><b>What you might not notice is that under that glow there is more heat
than ever at the center of the fire</b></span></span>.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Early dating
years and married life can have a lot of passion.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That passion is somewhat superficial.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You have yet to weather storms of life
together.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You don’t know each other as
well as you will.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Let some time pass between
you and the passion can seem to mellow, but what takes its place is an inner
heat that burns brighter because it has endured much and knows the other well.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhkr5gMVO5Rqus3TsjoA4laF6jRZwPb3vv5I6ILsh0ahW5ilMHEgwNhSXdiAJemSV8eZEVQ7khHPjAlGxZFaArQV8r8tU65szZ8Pmdr_BS_IaVBF6qUxhOYOJpY8_I6b01tBAv0YTIfpew/s1600/embers.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhkr5gMVO5Rqus3TsjoA4laF6jRZwPb3vv5I6ILsh0ahW5ilMHEgwNhSXdiAJemSV8eZEVQ7khHPjAlGxZFaArQV8r8tU65szZ8Pmdr_BS_IaVBF6qUxhOYOJpY8_I6b01tBAv0YTIfpew/s1600/embers.jpg" height="426" width="640" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Regardless
of the season of marriage, we can’t just expect things to go on without
effort.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Drift happens.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: #660000;"><b>We have to make the effort to connect</b></span></span>.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Strong marriages are ones where we make time
to talk, we cooperate on projects, we share our hearts, we forgive hurts and we
do what it takes to keep things spicy.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">You may be
thinking, “What on earth does this have to do with parenting?”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Everything.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Our marriage is the foundation which led to even having children and it
is the heart of the family.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="color: #660000;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b>Children
draw strength and security from the goodness of their parent’s marriage</b></span></span>.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So love that husband of yours.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Show him grace – he needs it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When you are hitting hard times, share your
frustrations about your marriage with friends who are in favor of your
marriage, not women who want to complain and tear down their homes with their
words.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Compliment your husband.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Take interest in what interests him.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I’m not
saying you fake any of this, but I am saying it may take some practice to get
good at really loving him over the long haul.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Take time to date him – even if that means late night, in-home dates
after the kids go to sleep.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: #660000;"><b>Tend your marriage
and you are tending the heart of your home.
</b></span></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Edwardian Script ITC"; font-size: 28.0pt; line-height: 115%;">~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~</span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Edwardian Script ITC"; font-size: 28.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Be
Refreshed</span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: 18.0pt; line-height: 115%;">A Quiet Space</span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Don’t you
sometimes look around longing for just a moment of quiet to yourself?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It can feel a bit like a mirage – something we
hope for, but right when it seems we will achieve it, we realize it was an
illusion after all.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>No one on earth is
going to ensure that you get the quiet you need.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: #660000;"><b>You have to carve out the time, guard it and
actually take it when the opportunity comes.</b></span></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Over the
years of my motherhood I have had seasons where it was near impossible to get
time alone.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Between midnight wakings of
one child and the daytime needs of another and all my other commitments in
life, it just wasn’t something that came regularly enough.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’ve had to learn how to grab private
moments.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’ve had to train my family to
respect those moments as well.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Some days I
just get snacks.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I go to my room into my
big green oversized chair.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: #660000;"><b>I sit
quietly, sometimes with a devotional, my Bible or hymnal, sometimes empty
handed</b></span></span>.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The point is that I do have to
make the time.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My children invariably
want to start some daredevil activity in the living room or, though they
usually get along very well, they begin a war of the wills just as I hunker
down with the Lord.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’ve learned how to
set them up for success so that I can get a snack of quiet time with the
Lord.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We need it – even if it is just
for 10 - 15 minutes several times a day.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Beyond the
snacks, I need to take longer times alone with the Lord to really refresh, to
unearth deeper places in my heart and to give Him access into places I often
otherwise avoid.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You heard me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I avoid Him and I avoid His touch.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Not the cozy touch which brings me comfort,
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: #660000;"><b>what I avoid is the touch which calls up deep pain or reminds me of some place
where I need to submit or grow</b></span></span>.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’ll
clean the whole garage to avoid sitting still for this spiritual visit to the
dentist’s chair.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Yet, I have learned
that going to these extended times alone with God is what pushes me forward in
my walk with Him and draws out more of who I want to be as a person.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Jesus often withdrew to quiet places and
prayed.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Desolation – alone with no
distractions – He communed with the Father.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj25kWuDzRtwelme2WLH3ItLCYEJM2dHIx_OPYxQTUwpUIMduVhs8ZpS5yoOcrMQsNnn1BcGxdwGWFwz83g7vwweywpp-rpt7EaacEXs9W2Pb-5TF8cPq2agBFVa8RXLf11vFciZnaenHQ/s1600/Be+Still.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj25kWuDzRtwelme2WLH3ItLCYEJM2dHIx_OPYxQTUwpUIMduVhs8ZpS5yoOcrMQsNnn1BcGxdwGWFwz83g7vwweywpp-rpt7EaacEXs9W2Pb-5TF8cPq2agBFVa8RXLf11vFciZnaenHQ/s1600/Be+Still.jpg" height="268" width="640" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: #660000;"><b>We need this
quiet space in order to face the deeper things in our hearts and to allow the
intimacy we truly crave.</b></span></span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When we meet
God in these places we come away renewed, refreshed and known.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Can you
carve out some “snack” times today?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Just
put 10-15 minute breaks in when you know your children will be occupied.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Try sitting empty-handed and allowing the Lord
to meet you as you are.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: #660000;"><b>It may be
initially uncomfortable, but as you sit, you will meet Him in fresh ways.</b></span></span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Then, if you are willing, carve out bigger
chunks of time to spend with the Lord.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Bring your journal or take a walk or find a quiet space that feeds your
soul and be present with your Creator – the Lover of your soul.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Allow Him to hear your heart as you cease
striving and know that He is God.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Practice the way of Jesus by regularly withdrawing to quiet places to
pray.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
<br />
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">I
pray you found a breath of fresh air here and a moment to reflect and recharge
your battery.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If you have missed any of
this series, all the posts can be found <a href="http://Welcome to Day 17 of Parenting Pointers and Mommy Refreshers. My heart longs to bless you this month as I write 31 days filled with nuggets of parenting wisdom. Each one is followed by a refresher to help you fix your eyes on Jesus and let your burdens go to Him. Sit with God in this moment. Find a place where you can breathe and hear from Him. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Today’s Parenting Pointer Love Him So many parenting pointers have to do with what we do with our children, how we speak to them, how we respond to their behavior and how we shape their character. This pointer is a bit different. It has to do with the backbone of our home. Remember years ago – before you ever had children? It may seem like an entire lifetime ago, but this whole adventure started with you and your husband – falling in love with one another. It was because of this love affair that you pledged your heart and life to this man and in turn you had children together. Provided you are one of the 50% of Americans who have remained married, you are still living with the father of your children. But, maybe you don’t feel the fire the way you used to. That is so normal. If you have ever been camping, you buy a bundle of wood from the camp host. You gather some kindling from around the campsite and you set it in the fire pit. You set a few logs on and the fire gets going. This how it is when we are dating. After a bit you add a few more logs and the blaze is stronger than ever. This is like the early years of marriage. But, as the night wears on, the fire dulls to a glow and though it still burns, it isn’t full of high flames as it was. What you might not notice is that under that glow there is more heat than ever at the center of the fire. Early dating years and married life can have a lot of passion. That passion is somewhat superficial. You have yet to weather storms of life together. You don’t know each other as well as you will. Let some time pass between you and the passion can seem to mellow, but what takes its place is an inner heat that burns brighter because it has endured much and knows the other well. Regardless of the season of marriage, we can’t just expect things to go on without effort. Drift happens. We have to make the effort to connect. Strong marriages are ones where we make time to talk, we cooperate on projects, we share our hearts, we forgive hurts and we do what it takes to keep things spicy. You may be thinking, “What on earth does this have to do with parenting?” Everything. Our marriage is the foundation which led to even having children and it is the heart of the family. Children draw strength and security from the goodness of their parent’s marriage. So love that husband of yours. Show him grace – he needs it. When you are hitting hard times, share your frustrations about your marriage with friends who are in favor of your marriage, not women who want to complain and tear down their homes with their words. Compliment your husband. Take interest in what interests him. I’m not saying you fake any of this, but I am saying it may take some practice to get good at really loving him over the long haul. Take time to date him – even if that means late night, in-home dates after the kids go to sleep. Tend your marriage and you are tending the heart of your home. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Be Refreshed A Quiet Space Don’t you sometimes look around longing for just a moment of quiet to yourself? It can feel a bit like a mirage – something we hope for, but right when it seems we will achieve it, we realize it was an illusion after all. No one on earth is going to ensure that you get the quiet you need. You have to carve out the time, guard it and actually take it when the opportunity comes. Over the years of my motherhood I have had seasons where it was near impossible to get time alone. Between midnight wakings of one child and the daytime needs of another and all my other commitments in life, it just wasn’t something that came regularly enough. I’ve had to learn how to grab private moments. I’ve had to train my family to respect those moments as well. Some days I just get snacks. I go to my room into my big green oversized chair. I sit quietly, sometimes with a devotional, my Bible or hymnal, sometimes empty handed. The point is that I do have to make the time. My children invariably want to start some daredevil activity in the living room or, though they usually get along very well, they begin a war of the wills just as I hunker down with the Lord. I’ve learned how to set them up for success so that I can get a snack of quiet time with the Lord. We need it – even if it is just for 10 - 15 minutes several times a day. Beyond the snacks, I need to take longer times alone with the Lord to really refresh, to unearth deeper places in my heart and to give Him access into places I often otherwise avoid. You heard me. I avoid Him and I avoid His touch. Not the cozy touch which brings me comfort, what I avoid is the touch which calls up deep pain or reminds me of some place where I need to submit or grow. I’ll clean the whole garage to avoid sitting still for this spiritual visit to the dentist’s chair. Yet, I have learned that going to these extended times alone with God is what pushes me forward in my walk with Him and draws out more of who I want to be as a person. Jesus often withdrew to quiet places and prayed. Desolation – alone with no distractions – He communed with the Father. We need this quiet space in order to face the deeper things in our hearts and to allow the intimacy we truly crave. When we meet God in these places we come away renewed, refreshed and known. Can you carve out some “snack” times today? Just put 10-15 minute breaks in when you know your children will be occupied. Try sitting empty-handed and allowing the Lord to meet you as you are. It may be initially uncomfortable, but as you sit, you will meet Him in fresh ways. Then, if you are willing, carve out bigger chunks of time to spend with the Lord. Bring your journal or take a walk or find a quiet space that feeds your soul and be present with your Creator – the Lover of your soul. Allow Him to hear your heart as you cease striving and know that He is God. Practice the way of Jesus by regularly withdrawing to quiet places to pray. I pray you found a breath of fresh air here and a moment to reflect and recharge your battery. If you have missed any of this series, all the posts can be found here. Come back any or every day this month to get another Parenting Pointer and Mommy Refresher. And, as always, I do love hearing from you. Let me know how I can pray for you or if something I wrote here touched you.">here</a>.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Come back any or every day this month to get another Parenting Pointer
and Mommy Refresher.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And, as always, I
do love hearing from you.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Let me know
how I can pray for you or if something I wrote here touched you.</span></i><br />
<br />
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><span style="color: #274e13;">Photos of Fires from Wiki Commons</span></span> </span></i>Pattyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14854370464356325974noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3345217407843497124.post-82576161344949845892014-10-21T15:48:00.002-07:002014-10-22T22:32:06.187-07:00Day 16: Saying I'm Sorry ... Sharing the Load<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Edwardian Script ITC"; font-size: 28.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Welcome<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></b><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">to <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Day 16</b> <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">of Parenting Pointers
and Mommy Refreshers</b>.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></i></div>
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">My heart longs to bless you this
month as I write 31 days filled with nuggets of parenting wisdom.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Each one is followed by a refresher to help
you fix your eyes on Jesus and let your burdens go to Him.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Sit with God in this moment.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Find a place where you can breathe and hear
from Him.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></i></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Edwardian Script ITC"; font-size: 28.0pt; line-height: 115%;">~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~</span></b></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Edwardian Script ITC"; font-size: 28.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Today’s
Parenting Pointer</span></b></div>
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<br /></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: 18.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Saying “I’m Sorry”</span></b></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I’m not sure
if it was her generation or if it was a personal thing or just the fact that
she grew up with her own world of hurt, but my mother was not really good at
saying, “I’m sorry.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The first memory I
have of any real attempt at an apology was well into my adulthood when she
said, “I’m sorry for all the things I did that hurt you growing up.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It was a teaspoon of water on a raging fire,
but you know what, I’ll take it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She was
sorry and under that apology <span style="font-size: large;"><b><span style="color: #660000;">I could feel the depth of hurt she must still
carry in order to be unable to say something more concrete.</span></b></span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I do love my
mother, so I am sharing this downfall only to let you know</span> <span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">the history of apology skills in my
family.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="color: #660000;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b>This is pioneer territory for me
as a mom.</b></span></span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"><span style="color: #660000;"> </span> </span>I’m not building on years of generational
modeling.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’m striking new soil
here.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Somehow God
is the Great Gap-Filler.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Before I had
children, I was given a gift of hanging around people who regularly talked
about looking at our own side of the street and taking responsibility when we
mess up and hurt others.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="font-size: large;"><b><span style="color: #660000;">It was through
this culture of self-reflection that I was rewired to be more appropriately
apologetic and to even make amends when it was possible.</span></b></span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I thank God for that foundation because as a
mom I’ve had plenty of opportunities to say, “I’m sorry.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Daily.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span></span></div>
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<br />
<a name='more'></a></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Like you, my
kids can push my buttons and sometimes I snap like a dry twig in fall and get
edgy with them instead of responding in my calm and loving tone.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I can see the hurt on their face right
away.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I wish there were a vacuum to suck
up mistakes and rewind time just to the point where I hurt the sweet child I
love.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Instead, I have to do what is
hard.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><b><i>I have to say, “I’m sorry.”</i></b><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"><b><i> </i></b> </span></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiviqu8S0xzcqoiJYyQ32dVI0iW9I1JRwwX_OhITu36Xlpr-c3Hau6kjzB4ZzDMEs_MH07XyyjlS9NZqASzWSRe-a8_2myNczqSJ3nkI5BHAo-KZC9ktgNNzB0FjN8S7Hf2RVgFq7QCRfs/s1600/i+am+sorry.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiviqu8S0xzcqoiJYyQ32dVI0iW9I1JRwwX_OhITu36Xlpr-c3Hau6kjzB4ZzDMEs_MH07XyyjlS9NZqASzWSRe-a8_2myNczqSJ3nkI5BHAo-KZC9ktgNNzB0FjN8S7Hf2RVgFq7QCRfs/s1600/i+am+sorry.jpg" height="292" width="640" /></a></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Sometimes I
am preoccupied with all it takes to run a home, a part-time job, be a somewhat
decent wife and friend and home educate.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>My son will want to share something and I realize I’m not giving him the
attention he deserves because my mind is elsewhere.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> <i><b> </b></i></span><i><b>I have to say, “I’m sorry.”</b></i><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I can find
things undone which I asked one of my sons to do and make an assumption about
how they didn’t listen.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In my hurry I
say something a little blaming only to find out I am completely off base.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><i><b>I have to say, “I’m sorry.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></b></i></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Then there
are the times one of them hooks me into a power struggle.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We grapple over an issue even though I know
better.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When we enter these kinds of
tug-of-wars, no one wins.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><i><b>I have to say,
“I’m sorry.”</b></i> </span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">What I’ve
learned over the years of practicing I’m sorry is that it helps to say what I
am sorry about.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“I’m sorry I didn’t do a
good job listening to you right then.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I’m really overwhelmed with a to-do list right now, but what you are
saying really matters to me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Could we
talk about it in ten minutes when I can sit and give you my full
attention?”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="font-size: large;"><b><span style="color: #660000;">Then it helps to listen
while they tell me how I hurt them</span></b></span>.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“Do
you want to tell me how that hurt you?”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Oh yeah.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They often do.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“Mommy, that hurt my feelings when you didn’t
listen to me because I was saying something important.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Ouch.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>No wonder my mom wasn’t into this.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>But then I can say, “I know.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I am
sure that did hurt.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It probably felt
like I was saying YOU weren’t important and it isn’t that at all.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You are so important to me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I just have too much on my mind, but that’s
about me, so let me get finished so I can show you just how important you
really are to me.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Finally I can hug
them if they need it or offer, “Is there something I can do to make it up to
you?”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Usually they say, “No,” or
sometimes they say, “Yes, you can listen to me when I talk.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Such goodness.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgedfkkpA4oytWMpIGDO_SP-cugJLUWo1l2F9ZjkLcXyEUpS3xtBDqps2PD6vbgvKd8VcgIOTF364kq-SPsKIWKbtjHdkR82VM_I4bRctjEtivOQaqCV1pZn_wCVVUbh_oY25hW0cW0EkE/s1600/you+matter.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgedfkkpA4oytWMpIGDO_SP-cugJLUWo1l2F9ZjkLcXyEUpS3xtBDqps2PD6vbgvKd8VcgIOTF364kq-SPsKIWKbtjHdkR82VM_I4bRctjEtivOQaqCV1pZn_wCVVUbh_oY25hW0cW0EkE/s1600/you+matter.jpg" height="280" width="640" /></a></div>
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<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I’m teaching
my kids skills – skills I never had as a child.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I’m teaching them to apologize specifically and take ownership when they
hurt others.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’m teaching them to listen
to how they hurt others.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’m teaching
them to offer restitution or some comfort.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">What I’m not
doing is teaching them to ask for forgiveness.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>You may notice that.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I think
forgiveness is a gift we receive.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When I
have already harmed someone, I don’t need to ask them for a gift, <span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: #660000;"><b>I need to
give them a gift – the gift of my truly repentant heart, the gift of my
listening ear and the gift of my willingness to make it up to them if I am
able</b></span></span>. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When my boys apologize to me, I do
offer them forgiveness and it is through that example that I teach
forgiveness.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">We don’t do
perfect over here.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We mess up.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We say “I’m sorry” and we reconnect.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I am so grateful I had support to learn a new
way and that our family is living out the healthier way of saying the hard and
wonderful words: </span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="color: #660000;"><b><span style="font-size: x-large;"><span style="line-height: 115%;">“I’m
sorry.” </span></span></b></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Edwardian Script ITC"; font-size: 28.0pt; line-height: 115%;">~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~</span></b></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Edwardian Script ITC"; font-size: 28.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Be
Refreshed</span></b></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: 18.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Sharing the Load</span></b></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">God invites
us to cast our cares on Him and to take His easy yoke.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He is the strong tower where we can run when
we are hurting or fearful.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>God knows we
will need His shoulder to lean on.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Throughout the years I have heard Christians say, “God never gives you
more than you can handle,” as if they were quoting a line from the book of
Romans.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I have found the opposite to be
true.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: #660000;"><b>God often gives us way more than
we can handle. He allows life to
overwhelm us to the point that we have to reach upward to Him and outward to
others.</b></span></span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He intends us to depend upon Him
and often allows circumstances to remind us of our need for His help and our
need for others around us.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In the letter
to the Galatians He says:</span></div>
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<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<i><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: #660000;"><b><span style="line-height: 115%;">Bear one another’s burdens and
thereby fulfill the law of Christ.</span></b></span></span></i></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">He gives us
one another.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He says we belong to one
another and He calls us to love one another.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>How do we love?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>One way is
bearing one another’s burdens.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">This goes
two ways.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When you look around at people
you know, can you see their burdens?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Invisible, yet heavy, some are weighed down with anxiety, a full-plate, conflict
in their marriage, self-hatred or a spirit of jealousy and competition.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: #660000;"><b>Can you come alongside these sisters of yours
and shoulder their cares with Jesus? </b></span></span></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Beyond that,
and sometimes this is the harder thing to do, we need to invite others into our
burdens.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>How can they share the load if
we never reveal our need?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’m one of
those “get-er-done” girls who likes to keep all ten of my plates spinning on my
own {thank you very much}.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I got that
way honestly.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I was praised for
achievement while failure wasn’t welcomed.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I learned that helping others was a good thing to do and I found that
when I was needed I didn’t have to be too vulnerable.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: #660000;"><b>Thankfully, God has reached into that
brokenness and allowed me to show my weakness and to learn to help others from
an entirely different motive</b></span></span>.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In the
meantime He’s been walking me into learning to receive.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><br />
<br />
When we let others carry our load with us, we are giving them something
beautiful.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It is blessed to give.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I am <i>way </i>less than perfect, but for years I
didn’t want to let that be known.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I did
everything in my power to make others think I had it packed up and wrapped with
a bow.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Portraying perfection keeps
people at arm’s length.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: #660000;"><b>Intimacy is
strengthened when we show our weaknesses and needs to others.</b></span></span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: #660000;"><b> </b></span></span> </span>The more I have shared the real ups and downs
of my life with others, the more they have been drawn to me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>God has blessed my open weakness with His
strength and the gift of people who care.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Can you
think of a few people who are near to you whom you could call this week and
take the risk of asking them to share the load you carry?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Can you share something that is on your
heart?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Can you ask them to do you a
favor?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: #660000;"><b>This is the
law of Christ: that we bear one another’s burdens in love.</b></span></span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Carry them for others, but allow them to do the
same in return.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
<br />
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">I
pray you found a breath of fresh air here and a moment to reflect and recharge
your battery.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If you have missed any of
this series, all the posts can be found <a href="http://heartshomeward.blogspot.com/p/31-days-of-mommy-refreshers.html">here</a>.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Come back any or every day this month to get another Parenting Pointer
and Mommy Refresher.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And, as always, I
do love hearing from you.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Let me know
how I can pray for you or if something I wrote here touched you.</span></i>Pattyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14854370464356325974noreply@blogger.com0